with bitter disappointment
bordering on frustrated anger
as my only anchor to a semblance of sanity
i am almost able to maintain this
stranglehold i have on the existence of life --- most tenuous.

so please be kind
     as i am such a mess,
          quite nearly a wreck,
               perhaps even a train wreck,
                    so completely fucked up.

i recently made that most hideous
of mistakes ----
attempted to dissect those times long gone
passed/past
but on this journey through yester times
i seem to have depleted a lifetime supply
of sentimental valiums.


Written by Sharron Pettiford Gonzales
2002.