Session Start: Fri Dec 24 00:34:23 1999

*** Now talking in #ChatGuest

*** Topic is 'Chat with David Bowie, Thursday December 23rd at 8:00 p.m. EST'

*** mod is now known as David Bowie

HJ: David is here, we will start in just one minute, Hold tight

HJ: Let's do it

David Bowie: okay I'm late everyone

David Bowie: so that means just two more questions to finish off with

Simone: oh, that's ok... in fact you are very early ...yawn LOL

David Bowie: stop being sarkey or I won't get your picture in the paper again...

Bonster: we started without you

David Bowie: story of my life...

Total Blam Blam: Do you know the piano's on my foot?

David Bowie: no, but whistle a bit and I'll pick it up

wlovedb: Hi, David! Did you believe in Santa Claus, when you were child? Merry Christmas!

David Bowie: no, but I do now...

David Bowie: Duncan says hello to everybody

FedeVelvetGoldminer: are you in Europe?

David Bowie: yes we're in Europe just overlooking Central Park...

Bonster: we already know everything about you ;)

David Bowie: very big windows...

David Bowie: fine, can I go home now

susans: what happened to the shrunken jumper?

David Bowie: people saw me wearing the jumper . show at which it was supposed to have shrunk

David Bowie: big secret! Jimmie tracked down the maker and got

David Bowie: me a new one

David Bowie: for some reason... we have a huge lag betw typing and posting...

David Bowie: I shall try and get permission from Emm and Holly and put up an MP3 of the 'Shrinking Song'

Spud: lag means piss where I come from David

David Bowie: everything means piss where you come from Spud

manicboy: David, what kind of weapon does Boz carry in Omikron?

David Bowie: Boz is based on myself... so it is a huge weapon with green spikes

Paoola_VelvetGoldminer: Velvet Goldmine has gathered a list of Christmas presents for you. Would you like us to e-mail you the list?

David Bowie: please just email me Velvet Goldmine

David Bowie: btw, watch out for huge changes on BowieNet Chat... unlike tonight we have just got a telekenetic software program which will allow me to transport me to your own living room , and type the F'n answers on your own keyboard

Adam: It's Christmas Eve, what do you most want?

David Bowie: is this an Adam and Eve joke?

Valerius: beam me up, David

David Bowie: Mahir please stop whispering

David Bowie: ok, we've broken a record... there are over 19,000 people in the room...

David Bowie: ...now, can I sell you all BowieBonds

David Bowie: ?

Valerius: Who is Mahir? Secret other?

David Bowie: Mahir is really Jim Carrey, who is really Andy Kaufman, who is really David Berkowitz

David Bowie: Queer By Choice... that was a wonderful site... thank you so much... I'll treasure it... until next week

Stefano_velvetgoldmine: David, when you will do a duet with Macy Gray

HJ: Sorry we are having trouble tonight, Looks like we might have to finish this chat next year, but Bowie We will continue on tonight

HJ: As best we can

Putzi: What do you really think about your fans?

David Bowie: a whole LOT!

David Bowie: where should I start?

David Bowie: how do I love thee?

David Bowie: let me count the ways...

David Bowie: 1

Ila: David, I've met your eyes at a concert 2 years ago and on occasion, I've asked myself: do you ever see a person behind the million masks staring at you always????

David Bowie: good evening Barbara Cartland

David Bowie: don't wax poetic with me love

David Bowie: I've met your type before... and as everyone knows, my eyes never go out with out me.

Jeanne: David, I love you because you are so strange.

David Bowie: I could NOT have said that in the 70s

Jeanne: David, I love you because you are so strange.

David Bowie: likewise

NathanAdler: When you will go to work with Visconti again?

David Bowie: Visconti and I begin work on the next album in February of next year

David Bowie: which should mean heads-down into tracks by May

David Bowie: another exciting immediate project, Mark Plati and I will remake (with the band) a whole bunch of those 60s chestnuts

WendyDarling: have you ever considered being the glamgod equivalent of Barbie?

David Bowie: Yes! the doll in Bowbie, and will be on the market just as soon as we have thought of the idea.

Bianca: How about your collaboration with Glenn Branca?

David Bowie: Glen and I have emailed a little on the road, and do remember that it is also in conjunction with Tony Ousley, who is leading the project

David Bowie: again, initial ideas go down in February, and the whole musical installation piece

David Bowie: is due in Berlin by June

David Bowie: somewhere in the art front,

David Bowie: I would really like to put my OWN show together...

David Bowie: ...for the Rupert Goldsworthy Gallery in the fall of next year

FedeVelvetGoldminer: What do we have to do to make our questions pass? Pay the moderators?

David Bowie: ahhh... you have just divined the secret of BowieNet chat session!

David Bowie: please make your check out to: Sperm Inc.

David Bowie: a subsidiary of Ultrastar

Maddy: Blimey, it's quiet

David Bowie: you think you've got problems... Grrrrrrr

David Bowie: we're working with a keyboard with only 7 letters...

David Bowie: and I tied the typists left arm behind his back just to keep things jumping...

David Bowie: ...unfortunately he only types with his left hand

Bianca: David, the "Hours" - promo-tour was just great! Can't wait to see you again! Are you now doing Glastonbury?

David Bowie: I'm pleased to say the Glastonbury thing is looking more and more likely...

David Bowie: in answer to all the hundreds (15) ques when I'm playing this town or that town...tions regarding

David Bowie: I'll answer in one go... Bourmouth

David Bowie: after the next 18 months or two years I really will do a gung-ho tour which will last for the rest of my expected life-span

David Bowie: on a scale so huge, that it will even incorporate Bradford (Croyden accepted)

QueerByChoice: Thank you for invitate me stay your home!!!! I be there 2pm sharp tomorrow .. only why you call me "she" ? I only be welcome in full female drag??? This I find very strange , but not matter. I pick out my prettiest dress for you !!

QueerByChoice: I am expecting your life span to last forever

David Bowie: well, QBC, (is that some kind of pun?) I'm expecting it to last the rest of my life

hellblazer: I just type away, no-one seems to read it anyway

David Bowie: next question

HJ: lol

Ysengrin: Woody Allen ripoff!

David Bowie: I know...

David Bowie: I'm going to have to sue him one day

susans: How on earth did you shoot Survive!

David Bowie: Most of it was done with a camera

David Bowie: Technology is frightening these days

David Bowie: But the flying around stuff...

David Bowie: I did with a Tibetan monk friend of mine who dressed up as me and astral projected around the kitchen.

Ysengrin: We have a photo of you in 1987 with clown nose - now we understand why the prop

David Bowie: Please finish this question, it could be funny.

QueerByChoice: David, my parents insist you're a bad influence on me. Are you willing to accept the blame? Do you feel guilty about this?

David Bowie: I haven't been a bad influence since the 70s... please thank your parents very much

David Bowie: I also feel Julio is quite charming

manicboy: David, what'd you do to Blamo?

David Bowie: I mistreat him as much as possible...

David Bowie: ...and let him pay me to be a European Correspondent (snigger)...

Pearl: HJ I give you $100,000 if you put one of my questions up

HJ: ok

HJ: do I hear 11

dj: I met you in '76 and you were charming, and I went on to be quite a heterosexual.

David Bowie: lol

HJ: lol

David Bowie: triple lol

Total Blam Blam: sniff my arse!

David Bowie: what?

David Bowie: you're fed up with me kicking it?

Taxi: LOL is so passe, guys

David Bowie: sorry, I meant lil

QueerByChoice: Do you ever get called for jury duty, and if so, how do you get out of it? I just got called again ...

David Bowie: no, they always seem to miss me up...

David Bowie: ...but I have been looked at by a couple, in my time...

David Bowie: I would like to mention, btw, just to save you folk some money...

David Bowie: ...98% of the autographed items on eBay are fakes...

David Bowie: ...please be careful

David Bowie: the major clue, is that I rarely sign mine 'Travis'

David Bowie: but seriously folks, I have only seen a couple of real autographed items on eBay

David Bowie: and I see some of you paying really good money for the fakes...

David Bowie: and, NO I'm NOT refunding!

David Bowie: LIL

JillLyons: Well, that doesn't make me feel any better, I just bought one recently...

David Bowie: I suppose the only thing I can do...

David Bowie: ..is if you scan it in to me, I can at least give you a positive.

HJ: OK Kids, here is the deal. There are some Internet Backbone problems going on in the West Coast tonight. It's not a concentric problem; rather, it's an MCI Internet/ Backbone issue. Probably all the last minute Christmas Internet shoppers bringing down the web! Most likely, we will all get booted off of the servers tonight at some point.

David Bowie: it would be difficult to give you a negative from a scan...

David Bowie: ...as I might have been off my head when I signed it

David Bowie: but I can at least tell you if its genuine

David Bowie: there will only be a small charge for this service

Valeria: have you recorded your last concerts? will we ever listen to them again????

David Bowie: are you an existentialist?

manicboy: David, ever do Viagra?

David Bowie: I LOVE Viagra

David Bowie: ...his last three books were sensational

David Bowie: and I hear that 'Pain in the Butt' is shortly to be a movie...

HJ: lil

Taxi: David, comments on Harry Potter?

David Bowie: never taken one...

David Bowie: ...age doesn't seem to have effected me in that way yet

WendyDarling: what are you reading this week?

David Bowie: I was very surprised to receive thru the mail, the galleys for a book by Michael Gross

David Bowie: ...who is a Village Voice writer (associated in my mind) strictly with fashion

David Bowie: his book is called, 'My Generation'

David Bowie: and gives an overview of the lives of 19 so-called baby-boomers

David Bowie: the results are more than interesting...

David Bowie: ...and the conclusions far from cliche...

David Bowie: will probably come out in february

David Bowie: RECOMMENDED!

Simone: Have you seen a good movie recently?

David Bowie: still like 'Boys Don't Cry'

David Bowie: saw Jim Carrey's Kaufman movie today

David Bowie: I'm a bit iffy abt it...

David Bowie: 'American Beauty' is really terrific

David Bowie: Duncan recommends 'Straight Story'

David Bowie: the last Lynch movie

David Bowie: did anyone see 'Sleepy Hollow'?

David Bowie: verdict anyone?

Bill2: Is there any director you want to work with in particular?

David Bowie: yes!

David Bowie: I want Tim Burton on drums

Simone: LIL

David Bowie: for the next album... that should throw a spanner in the works

KMSV: spanner in the works was Rod Stewart, EEEW!

David Bowie: Spaniard in the works was John Lenno... ooooohhhh...

David Bowie: checkmate

Spud: favourite album of the minute/

David Bowie: alarmingly its 'Travis'

David Bowie: (ducks booze and hisses)

Ali: David, what does Christmas mean to you.....

David Bowie: a pagan ceremony appropriated by the Christians...

David Bowie: I rather like the theory that Christ was born approximately 5 BC

David Bowie: in April...

David Bowie: this really goes with my idea of how chaos can work for all of us...

David Bowie: Herod has been accurately pinpointed as dying in 4 BC...

David Bowie: (historical record) which at least shifts Christ's birth back by abt 4 or 5 years

David Bowie: as big H was trying to kill the little mite...

David Bowie: the oldest astronomical records are held by the Chinese...

David Bowie: ...who have pinpointed a supernova in April of 5 BC...

David Bowie: and according to middle eastern tradition, shepherds only watched there flocks by night...

David Bowie: ...in the lambing season, which starts at the end of March, beginning of April

David Bowie: tomorrow nights lecture will be on the beginnings of baseball, and its connection with transubstantiation...

David Bowie: it will be called 'Pitching and the Catholic church

atonalexpress: baseball began in Honolulu

David Bowie: too true... too true...

PeterPuck: what's the Pope's best pitch?

David Bowie: its often thought of as being the 'slider'

David Bowie: but it is my belief that when it comes to a cracking 'spitter' the infallible man rules

Ara: Who's on first?

David Bowie: fuck off

David Bowie: lil

HJ: lil

JollyRoger: Did you ever meet Elvis Presley?

David Bowie: yes.

David Bowie: Duncan and I were honoured to have been served our meatloaf at lunch today by Elvis...

David Bowie: he's looking really trim and lost some weight

David Bowie: he says he's sold the car and regrets selling the belt with the big buckle

David Bowie: as he has lost so much weight, he seriously needs it back to keep his pants up

QueerByChoice: if you die will you come back and visit us like Elvis?

David Bowie: bless you.

David Bowie: I love thee 'IF you die.......'

MartianDust: come to my house first

David Bowie: IF I die I will come to your house first...

NathanAdler: do you fear die?

David Bowie: as my hair has been every color under the sun, there is no die that can make me tremble...

David Bowie: ...except a rather nasty rust that was put out in 1977 by BaldRUs

David Bowie: in this room, all joking aside, have got rather excited about the prospect of a truly industrial rust hair dye

David Bowie: Duncan has whipped off to the kitchen with a large saucepan...

David Bowie: ...a bottle of acid, and a hubcap.

David Bowie: good luck Duncan, I say!

David Bowie: keep in touch...

Bill: are you in New York Dave?

David Bowie: yes I am in New York...

David Bowie: simply gorgeous weather today...

David Bowie: ...walked around the village today

David Bowie: caught the new Michael Ray Charles show...

David Bowie: ...we had lunch at Jerrys on Prince St.

David Bowie: cannot recommend the meatloaf more highly..

David Bowie: served, as you know, by Elvis.

David Bowie: then caught the Kauffman movie

David Bowie: who did an impersonation of... OUR WAITER

David Bowie: yes we have a tree...

David Bowie: unfortunately, all the Christmas trees have sold out...

David Bowie: ...so we made due with a small but fairly bushy weeping willow.

David Bowie: but our balls keep tending to fall off.

David Bowie: and we don't know whether we have any presents or not...

David Bowie: ... as we can't see past the curtain of green ...

David Bowie: which is a vital characteristic of the aforesaid willow...

David Bowie: ...we are sending a search party (Duncan) in...

David Bowie: ...after he has cleaned the industrial rust off his hands.

David Bowie: good luck Duncan!' keep in touch!

Laura: what about liveandwell.com?

David Bowie: there will be an EXCITING announcement (so I've been told) on the 30th of December.

David Bowie: if it turns out to be that we're going into a nin.ew millennium, I'm not coming back to chat aga

David Bowie: but I do believe... it will be in connection with liveandwell.com

David Bowie: and also some major new upgradings on BowieNet itself...

HJ: look for LiveandWell info next week!!

Bonster1: You're going public?

David Bowie: whoops!

David Bowie: I'm always forgetting to zip it up

Schoki: When will the video come out that you filmed in the Astoria?

David Bowie: I forgot that it was filmed...

David Bowie: I promise I'll find out what happened to it...

David Bowie: and if we can make at least some of it available on BowieNet early next year

Nate: have u heard the bootlegs for the rehearsals of your Serious Moonlight tour (with Stevie Ray Vaughan)?

David Bowie: yes, you mean the album called the 'Hawk And The Dove'

David Bowie: as it came straight from the soundboard the mix is very odd...

David Bowie: but its still a rather fab memento of that pkeriod, I thin

David Bowie: I bought my bootleg in Japan in 1990.

David Bowie: I will sue ANYbody else who tries to buy it...

David Bowie: LIL

Bill2: What is your favourite Bowie bootleg?

David Bowie: the live footage of the Astoria gig in London

A_Girl: David; should I give up my virginity? (Yes, this is a serious question!)

David Bowie: it most seriously IS.

Schoki: Why not put the Bridge School on BowieNet? That performance was magic!!

David Bowie: it was a wonderful show, but of course it owned by Neil Young...

David Bowie: maybe one day hell put together a compilation of the Bridge Shows...

Total Blam Blam: I collect them

David Bowie: collect what exactly Blam?

David Bowie: virgins?

MartianDust: What's the earliest thing you can remember as a child?

David Bowie: 2 brilliant lights fighting at the back of my garden

David Bowie: at about 4 in the morning...

David Bowie: ...and me getting shit scared, and running back into my bed...

David Bowie: ...and sticking my head under the covers... frightened...

David Bowie: you don't often see 2 aliens having a knock-about in the back garden in Brixton...

David Bowie: but its great reference stuff to fall back on when you're short of a song or two

Gilly: how many sisters have you got?

David Bowie: I have 1 half sister...

David Bowie: who was originally called Annette, but met and fell in love with an Egyptian...

David Bowie: ...and ran away from home at around 17...

David Bowie: ...and (irony of ironies) I found out fairly recently that having married into the Islam faith...

David Bowie: ...her name is now Iman

David Bowie: scary or what?!

FedeVelvetGoldminer: you have a great imagination

David Bowie: I promise you this is for real.

atonalexpress: hOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH iMAN?

David Bowie: as of around 7:45 this evening.. it was really cool...

David Bowie: I'll just take two more questions...

David Bowie: but I promise that I'll be back...

David Bowie: hopefully on a less trafficy day...

David Bowie: just after the new year...

Rednik: I know you love EastEnders... would you consider doing a one-off episode?

David Bowie: I have just written a spin-off..

David Bowie: where I star as the bartender, Sakamoto

David Bowie: this spin-off is called... Far-EastEnders

David Bowie: please watch out for it.

Taxi: Do you like Dunkin' Donuts?

GailFireBlahBlah: Are you going to wear a kimono?

Jeanne: What does the small b in your name mean, Mr. D?

David Bowie: all these questions are rubbish...

David Bowie: so I will just let you know...

David Bowie: that I'm going to blackmail Holly, Emm and Gail, into doing a threesome chat night...

David Bowie: sometime in the early new year.

David Bowie: I have photographs of them all in extremely compromising positions...

David Bowie: so I guarantee that this will happen...

David Bowie: news update: they have just phoned in and said they would be extremely happy to do the chat room for as long as you guys like...

David Bowie: ...on the return of the negatives.

David Bowie: we are open for negotiations.

David Bowie: had a lot of fun tonight.

David Bowie: so sorry for the sluggish thing...

David Bowie: probably Christmas traffic...

David Bowie: see you in the new year!

David Bowie: happy hols from all of us to all of you...

David Bowie: from over here to over there... happy trails, sweat dreams, good luck, you've got a lucky face... the drinks are on me...

David Bowie: ...do you know where your children are?

David Bowie: do you know who your parents are?

David Bowie: Good night from David, and the man with rusty hair.

HJ: David has left the building...goodnight

Session Close: Fri Dec 24 02:40:26 1999