Outside Reality




"...on the outside..."


Kneeling down by your feet, I could smell your sweat.
Your face full of excitement.
Your lips drawn into a smile, your eyes flickering with enjoyment.
I had thought that this was to do with your happiness to see me.
Secrets from the past swept away.
Fear bottled up in what was thought as trust.
Chained into this, not knowing how to break free.
Kneeling. Trusting. Knowing.
On the outside things were blinded by disillusion.
On the inside repeating the mantra of "this won't happen again".
I look into your eyes trusting.
Your eyes full of excitement.
Feeling the snake going for its prey, the bite is numbing.
Not knowing how to feel.
Again and again the snake devours its prey.
Still looking into your eyes, full of such joy.
I feel as though my flesh were like fire, burning away the past.
Again and again, as though nothing has happened.
Burning. Kneeling. Sobbing inside.
Kneeling down by your feet, I could smell the burning flesh of your prey.
On the outside, reality isn't what it seemed to be.
On the inside, reality is what it seemed.
Knowing.
This is what goes on, on the outside.


Outside Reality.
05-17-2004.


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