Spud sat on a marzipan couch

Spud - aka erm... "Spud"

Spud is as eloquent as it gets around these parts. His primary function in the World of BowieWonder is to regale the rest of us with tales of his wonderful family and anecdotes of his life on the road in his taxi.

Some would call Spud a renegade Urban Explorer. Others would say he's a sweet family man with some of the funniest kids ever put on this earth. But here at BowieWonderworld, we just call him Spud the Beer Drinking Poet.

For more information on Spud, be sure to check out the Live and Well CD. His story is the last in the liner notes and certainly one of the best!




    4th January.

Where do you live?
    Just outside Newcastle Upon Tyne (that's in England).


Your favourite David Bowie album?
    Depends on the mood.

Your favourite David Bowie song?
    Always Crashing (at the minute).

Most embarrassing experience:
    One that recently came to mind was when I was out shopping with MrsS and my two youngest daughters. The youngest was still a baby and the older of the two was about two years old. MrsS was wanting to buy something for herself and the kids were playing up! and so I suggested sitting outside on a bench in the main street whilst she browsed around. The sun was shining and I thought the kids would enjoy the fresh air. The main street in the city where I live is called Northumberland Street and it is a very busy street indeed lined with all the major stores on both sides.

    We found a seat just outside Marks & Spencers and I wheeled the baby in the pram back and forth with one hand whilst keeping hold of Gina on my knee with the other. The place was thronging with people going in all different directions to various shops.

    "Daddy! Wee Wee" said Gina. "What darling?" "Wee Wee." "'Damn it!' I thought to myself! Of all the times to happen it had to be now. We had been trying to get Gina out of her nappies and this was one of her first trips out in her little knickers.

    "Are you sure Gina! Do you need to go now?" "Yes! Wee Wee." came the reply with a nod. I began scanning the area to see if MrsS was on her way back! but no sign anywhere. "Wee Wee Daddy! Wee Wee."

    It was obvious that Gina was becoming very desperate and so I decided to do what I suppose you have seen many parents do in this situation. I decided to let the poor innocent child do her business in a quiet corner! But there was no quiet corner! All the huge glass-fronted shops faced the road and I was midway down the street. I put Gina down onto the pavement and she began dancing a little imminent-pee dance on the spot. I had little choice! If I was going to save my daughter from a very uncomfortable afternoon in soaking wet knicks! Then I would have to let her go here and now. I scooped her up! and wheeled the pram over to the gutter! whereupon after separating Gina from her underwear I held her over the gutter to let her relieve herself.

    "Go on then Gina! Have a wee! and try and be quick." I said! While people passed me in every direction at very close quarters. But Gina didn't reply! The only noise she made was a very loud straining noise as her little face reddened and she gripped my arms with her tiny hands.

    "Gina! What are you doing? Have a wee Gina. Gina! Ginaaaa! no Gina.!!! Ggnnnnnnnn." "Wee Wee Daddy" she replied! Straining the words through her teeth.

    It soon became completely apparent that she didn't yet know the difference between a wee and... the other! and she proceeded to foul the main thoroughfare of Newcastle upon Tyne for what seemed like around fifteen minutes but was probably only two or three. I couldn't move! My back had almost locked as I struggled to hold the child at a safe enough distance to save my shoes and pants from being soiled. I could hear remarks of apparent disgust! and the odd laugh as I stood there like a human commode! Holding my innocent little girl while she did the dirty deed in the middle of the busiest street in the north-east of England. Furthermore I had no tissues or anything! and when she had decided to finish I quickly redressed her and marched back towards the seat! Only to see MrsS coming towards me.

    "What's the matter with you?" she said. "You don't look very happy." "Happy! HAPPY? Did you see what Gina's just done.?" I said! pointing to the gutter. MrsS laughed "Did she do that?" she said. "Did she do... of course she bloody did that. Either that or someone's just dropped a box of cigars. Jesus! I've never been so embarrassed." "Oh calm down you daft sod." said MrsS! Then she bent down to my daughter and said. "Well done Gina! you're clever girl! Now come on and I'll take you to the toilets to get you cleaned up." And MrsS calmly took the situation in hand while I tried to straighten myself out against a nearby lamp-post."

Most memorable experiences:
    Bowie At The Beeb.

Best Bowie gigs been to:
    Riverside, Montmartre.

Favourite Bowie event you've been to?
    The soundcheck at the Elysee Montmartre (I still quiver).

Favourite beverage?
    It begins with "B" and rhymes with "ear".

Favourite food?
    Mange Tout (the meaning).

Favourite sexual position?
    None! I'm halibut (or is that celibate?).

Name one thing that you completely hate?
    Being stabbed.

Describe David Bowie in one word?