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by Jazmine

I was so nervous I couldn't sit still. Only four more days to go and it would be all over. She was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. I killed her.

It was the night we went to see David Bowie at the Astoria in London. December 2nd 1999 to be exact. Me and my mate Shaz were the first ones there to see Bowie before he went in and got him to sign some albums and things. Then we were allowed in. I was in the front row. He was brilliant. Though he didn't play anything from either Outside or Earthling, which are my two fave albums of his. But it was still a good show.

After the concert, we headed toward the main exit. It was a bit of a rush and people were pushing and shoving. I was already half an hour late home, Bowie went on longer than I thought. When I finally got out, I got on my Harley and sped off, and then I heard a scream from in front of me. I got off to see who it was, I couldn't believe it, it was Kelly Anne.

She used to bully the hell out of me at school, part of me was glad that she'd been hit, but I couldn't help the fact that it was me who did it. I never wanted her dead, what would people think? I'm a murderer. Something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life.

When I got home I went straight upstairs to the bathroom, splashed my face with cold water, then stared at myself in the mirror for a whole ten minutes, trying to recap on what happened. Then went to bed full of guilt.

Next day I went back to college. I walked into a class full of uneased silence. They'd read all about it in the morning papers. Nicky was the only one who found it funny. Today was a disaster, the looks, the sneers. I prayed to God that this would be all over. Only three more days to the weekend. Then I'm free.

I got home from college around 4.30pm. Dad was stood by the living room door, waiting for me to come in. He took my coat and sat me down on the settee and showed me the newspaper. I was on the front page with the headline: BOWIE BOY INVOLVED IN BIKE MURDER. I kept asking myself. 'How did I get on the front page? How did these people know it was me? My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Dad shouting "Son, what the hell have you done?" I just shrugged and tried to put it out of my mind, which got me a clip around the ear.

I noticed Mom in the corner sobbing, I wanted to give her a hug, but Dad stopped me, he said he had something to tell me.

There was a knock at the door, Mom went to open it, it was the police. Was this what Dad was trying to tell me? I looked at him and asked why. He said: "Son, I hate to do this but you are now a murderer and you have to pay for what you have done." Then he told them to take me away. I went without making any more trouble.

I got taken to a cell. There was someone else in there already, he was a convicted train robber, who had a laugh like a Hyena and I was often on the receiving end. I asked the guard if I could have a cell to myself, but was refused.

Two weeks later, it was my trial at the Crown Court. I pleaded guilty to all charges, murder, reckless driving (I was in a rush to get home remember). Kelly's family were there. Her mother stood up and gave evidence: her eyes were on me the whole time. I knew I was gonna go down. I got a sentence of life in prison, stuck with this Hyena of a man and with David Bowie constantly singing in my head ('It could've been me, yeah it could've been me, why didn't I say, why didn't I say?').

Knowing I was in for a long time, I made the most of it. I tried to talk to this Hyena guy, but he wasn't budging, didn't even tell me his name and when I asked if he liked David Bowie, he looked at me as though I were stupid. Maybe Bowie isn't that well known in prison? Life in prison was definitely tough.

A year had passed since the incident. Only four more days to my next trial and it will be all over... hopefully. Until then, I'm still in the same prison, in the same cell with the same guy (I do wish he would stop laughing at me). I wrote a letter to Mom and Dad, and others.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hope you are both okay. My trial is in 4 days, hope you will be there.

Can't stand it in here anymore. Hope you get time to visit, love to see you.


Well, four days on, and nothing much happened. The trial this morning went horribly wrong. My parents haven't turned up or even came to the trial, and I'm still doing time. Will I ever be free?

Written by Jazmine
24th January 2003.

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Created: Feb 2003 © Paul Kinder Last Updated: 16/2/03