DAVID BOWIE MISHEARD LYRICS

David Bowie Songs - (Alphabetical Listing)

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

1984 Misheard: Beware the saboteur of 1984. Misheard: Beware the sound is sure of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage whore of 1984. Misheard: Where the sound is pure of 1984. Misheard: Where the south is pure of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage roar of 1984. Misheard: Beware the balla bore of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage law of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage jaw of 1984. Actual: Beware the savage lure of 1984.

5:15 THE ANGELS HAVE GONE Misheard: This foreign ring brings me down. Actual: This foreign rain brings me down. Misheard: We never talk animal. Actual: We never talk anymore. Misheard: Forever and adore me. Misheard: Forever and ever only. Misheard: Forever and a dawn leal. Misheard: Forever and adorn Neil. Actual: Forever I will adore only you. Misheard: Angels like them pinned on the ground. Actual: Angels like them thin on the ground. Misheard: Swings turn me eyes. Misheard: Sweet sany eyes. Misheard: Swings turn the eyes. Misheard: Strains on the eyes. Actual: Strange sandy eyes.

A SMALL PLOT OF LAND Misheard: He pushed back the pigment, the Barbs left. Actual: He pushed at the pigmen, the Barbs laughed.

ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS Misheard: If our Long Johns could fly over mountains. Actual: If our love song could fly over mountains. Misheard: We're sentenced to succeed. Misheard: We're certain to suck seed. Actual: We're certain to succeed.

ALADDIN SANE Misheard: Washing him dash away, swinging an old bouquet - dead Rosie. Actual: Watching him dash away, swinging an old bouquet - dead roses. Misheard: Sucky and strange divine. Misheard: Sarky and strange divine. Actual: Sake and strange divine. Misheard: Slacking the sandal strings. Misheard: Clutching the sandal strings. Actual: Saddening glissando strings. Misheard: Mutter 'sensational', Paris or maybe hell - I'm waiting. Misheard: Motor sensational, Paris or maybe Hull - I'm wading. Misheard: What a sensational, Paris or marble halls - I'm waiting. Actual: Motor sensational, Paris or maybe hell - I'm waiting. Misheard: Millions leave without him, just in time for sunrise. Actual: Millions weep a fountain, just in case of sunrise.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES (1972 demo version) Misheard: Howard kicked it in the head when he was twenty-five. Actual: How he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five. Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from our lockers. Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from knocks and spocks. Actual: Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks and Sparks.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from all our cars. Actual: Wendy's stealing clothes from unlocked cars. Misheard: Funky little bow rays. Actual: Funky little boat race. Misheard: Oh man I wanted TV but I got T Rex. Misheard: Oh man I need a TV when I got tourettes. Actual: Oh man I need TV when I got T. Rex. Misheard: All the young dudes, carry the nudes. Misheard: All the young Jews, carry the news. Misheard: All the young fools, carry the nudes. Actual: All the young dudes, carry the news. Misheard: Booddledidudes. Misheard: Bugle do dudes. Actual: Boogaloo dudes. Misheard: Brother you guessed, I'm a Jew, dad. Actual: Brother you guessed, well I'm a dude yeah.

ALWAYS CRASHING IN THE SAME CAR Misheard: Kill the urge to run the red lights. Actual: With kilometers and the red light. Misheard: As I put my foot on to the floor. Actual: As I pushed my foot down to the floor. Misheard: I was going, round and round, Hotel Carol Life. Actual: I was going, round and round, the hotel garage. Misheard: Must have been touching close to make you fall. Actual: Must have been touching close to ninety-four.

AMSTERDAM Misheard: And he once sought to bitch. Actual: And he wants so to belch. Misheard: And the snot that they tow underneath the street lamps. Actual: And the sluts that they tow underneath the street lamps.

AN OCCASIONAL DREAM Misheard: And we'd speak of a Swedish room. A messier man would. Actual: And we'd speak of a Swedish room of hessian and wood.

ANDY WARHOL Misheard: Like to take a semen fix. Actual: Like to take a cement fix. Misheard: Be a stand in silly ma. Actual: Be a standing cinema. Misheard: But the people in my brain. Actual: Put a peephole in my brain. Misheard: Send him on our pleasure cruise. Actual: Send him on a pleasant cruise. Misheard: When he wakes up on the scene. Actual: When he wakes up on the sea. Misheard: He thinks about pink and he thinks about blue. Misheard: With a thing about paint and a thing about glue. Actual: He'll think about paint and he'll think about glue.

AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN Misheard: It's just a circle. Actual: There's such a sad love Misheard: Living its life oh just a circle. Misheard: Deep in your eyes, a kind of meldew. Actual: Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel Misheard: On a big stride within your thighs. Actual: Open and closed within your eyes Misheard: I place the lies within your thighs. Actual: I'll place the sky within your eyes Misheard: I'll feed you mountains of coke. Misheard: I think your mum's a girl. Actual: I'll paint you mornings of gold.

ASHES TO ASHES Misheard: Do you remember the Goth that's been? Misheard: Do you remember our gardens, Ben? Misheard: Do you remember rock Arthur Spear? Misheard: Do you remember when God was born? Misheard: Do you remember a guy Fats Bean? Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's pink? Actual: Do you remember a guy that's been? Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, it's such an earthly song. Misheard: Do you remember like I was there, it's such an ugly sore. Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such an ugly song? Misheard: I remember Agatha's been, in such an awful song. Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such a yearly soul. Actual: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such an early song. Misheard: I laughed a long needed laugh, saw the details fall away. Misheard: I've loved our love needed love, sunny details fall away. Misheard: I've loved all I've needed love, saw the details follow in. Actual: I've loved all I've needed love, sordid details following. Misheard: The shaking of nothing was killing us. Actual: The shrieking of nothing is killing. Misheard: Into the chap goes and simply sits. Misheard: Just pictures of gyros in synthesis. Misheard: Just pictures of Jap girls in silver suits. Misheard: Just pictures of Jap girls in super suits. Actual: Just pictures of Jap girls in synthesis. Misheard: Assorted details fall away. Misheard: Sorry deep down spiralling. Misheard: Saw the D-times for the week. Actual: Sordid details following. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, funk to fungi. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, fun to funky. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, honk the donkey. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, funk to flunky. Actual: Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. Misheard: F**k it, to f**k it, we know Major Tom joked. Misheard: Fun to funky, we know Major Tom's a donkey. Misheard: Fun to funky, we know Major Tom's a monkey. Actual: Funk to funky, we know Major Tom's a junkie. Misheard: Strung out on rebels I'm hitting an all-time low. Misheard: Strung out in heaven's high, leading an old-time float. Actual: Strung out in heaven's high, hitting an all-time low. Misheard: 'Damn it,' again I tell myself. Misheard: Time and again I'll tie myself. Actual: Time and again I tell myself. Misheard: But the little grey wings are following me. Misheard: But the little grey wheels are following me. Misheard: But the little grey whales are following me. Misheard: But the angry wings are following me. Misheard: But the old green wheels are following me. Actual: But the little green wheels are following me. Misheard: And I ain't got no money and I ain't got no hands. Actual: And I ain't got no money and I ain't got no hair. Misheard: One flash of light God knows smoking is dumb. Misheard: One flash of light but no smoking piston. Misheard: One flash of light but no smoking crystal. Misheard: One flash of light but I'm smoking pissed off. Misheard: One flash of light but no smoking... pissed off. Misheard: One flash of light one no-smoking class flight. Actual: One flash of light but no smoking pistol. Misheard: I never did anything out of the balloon. Actual: I never did anything out of the blue. Misheard: But the next to break the ice. Misheard: Wanna axe to break the eyes. Misheard: You're next to break the act. Actual: Want an axe to break the ice. Misheard: I'm gonna say, to get things done. Actual: My mama said to get things done. Misheard: You better not mess with major talks. Actual: You'd better not mess with Major Tom.

BABY GRACE (A HORRID CASSETTE) Misheard: And let me think, something is going to be heard. Actual: And this I think, something is going to be horrid.

BATTLE FOR BRITAIN (THE LETTER) Misheard: Don't you ever let her get you down. Actual: Don't you let my letter get you down.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Misheard: That's my kind of high road, gone wrong. Misheard: Has my kind of rolling, gone wrong? Actual: That's my kind of high rolling, gone wrong. Misheard: You can't say no to the Booty and the Beast. Actual: You can't say no to the Beauty and the Beast.

BECAUSE YOU'RE YOUNG Misheard: Psychoclinical girl - come out to play. Actual: Psychodelicate girl - come out to play.

BIG BROTHER Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me ounces unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulses unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulses and veal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me ulcers unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me horses on wheels. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me forces or fields. Actual: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulsars unreal. Misheard: Someone to claim us, someone to swallow. Actual: Someone to claim us, someone to follow. Misheard: Someone to save us, some brave Apollo. Misheard: Someone to shave us, some brave Apollo. Actual: Someone to shame us, some brave Apollo.

BLACK COUNTRY ROCK Misheard: Pack your pickles up and rest stop here on Black Country Rock. Actual: Pack a pack horse up and rest up here on Black Country Rock.

BLACKOUT Misheard: The weather's grim, I suffocated. Actual: The weather's grim, ice on the cages. Misheard: Me, I'm robbing the 'hood and I puff on my cigarette. Misheard: Me I'm Robin Hood and I follow my cigarette. Actual: Me, I'm Robin Hood and I puff on my cigarette.

★ (BLACKSTAR) Misheard: In the villa of old men. Misheard: In the villa of all men. Misheard: In the villa of Almond. Actual: In the Villa of Ormen. Misheard: Holy women kneel and smile. Actual: Only women kneel and smile. Misheard: And your sedatives and booze. Misheard: And your sedatives too. Misheard: And your sedatives, two. Actual: And your sedatives boo!

BLACK TIE WHITE NOISE Misheard: Lennon called me brother. Actual: Let him call me brother.

BLUE JEAN Misheard: She's got a camouflage faced bald monkey. Misheard: She's got a camouflage face and a monk. Misheard: She's got a camouflaged face in the night. Misheard: She's got her camouflage face in the mud. Misheard: She's got a camouflage face and no mmmmmm. Actual: She's got a camouflaged face and no money. Misheard: Remember they always let you down when you kneed 'em. Actual: Remember they always let you down when you need 'em. Misheard: She got a polish like she got a turnip nose. Misheard: She got her ponies back, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: She got a Polish dyke, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: She got a four-inch spike, she got a turned up nose. Actual: She got a police bike, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: Oh, I like my blue jeans blue. Actual: Oh, and when my Blue Jean's blue. Misheard: She got leather boots, she's got everything. Misheard: She got lead in boots, she's got everything. Misheard: She got language, she's got everything. Misheard: She got platform boots, she got everything. Misheard: She got platinum roots, she got everything. Misheard: She got lying lips, she got everything. Actual: She got Latin roots, she got everything. Misheard: Somebody save me. Actual: Somebody send me. Misheard: One day I'm gonna get that fuckin' thing together. Misheard: One day I'm gonna get that fat girl together. Actual: One day I'm gonna get that faculty together.

BOSS OF ME Misheard: Tell me when you say. Actual: Tell me when you're sad. Misheard: It spins on your hopes. Actual: It spins on your hips. Misheard: And under these wings of steel are small-town guys. Actual: And under these wings of steel the small town dies.

BOYS KEEP SWINGING Misheard: The clowns are for ya. Misheard: The clouds will split for ya. Actual: The clouds part for ya. Misheard: Nothing stands in your way, when you're a void. Actual: Nothing stands in your way, when you're a boy. Misheard: Life is a top of the cherry. Actual: Life is a pop of the cherry. Misheard: Boys always word it out. Actual: Boys always work it out. Misheard: Luck just kissed you alone. Misheard: Don Knot's just kissed you hello. Actual: Luck just kissed you hello! Misheard: You're always first on the lie. Actual: You're always first on the line. Misheard: When you're a boy, you can buy an overcoat. Actual: When you're a boy, you can buy a home of your own. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a miracle. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a mirror king. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a mirror thing. Actual: When you're a boy, learn to drive and everything.

BREAKING GLASS Misheard: Don't look at the carpet, I threw up something awful on it. Misheard: Don't look at the carpet, I threw something awful on it. Actual: Don't look at the carpet, I drew something awful on it.

BRING ME THE DISCO KING Misheard: Hard cased days that you trailed around. Actual: Hot cash days that you trailed around.

CACTUS Misheard: Sitting here wishing on a semen flow. Misheard: Sitting here watching all the semen flow. Actual: Sitting here wishing on a cement floor.

CAN YOU HEAR ME Misheard: Chicken and rice. Actual: Take it in right. Misheard: Six years it isn't so much of life and what do I find? Misheard: Sixteen insisting not tonight and what do I find? Misheard: Six stages seeing so much of life and what do I find? Actual: Sixty new cities, and what do I, what do I, what do I find?

CANDIDATE Misheard: My scent is amazing, it even smells like a street. Actual: My set is amazing, it even smells like a street. Misheard: Someone scrawled on the wall 'I smell the blood of the tree cutters'. Misheard: Someone scrawled on the wall 'the blood of les tree gutters'. Actual: Someone scrawled on the wall 'I smell the blood of les tricoteuses'. Misheard: I'm having so much fun with the boys and his people. Actual: I'm having so much fun with the poisonous people. Misheard: Making bullet-proof faces, join the Nazi catcher's wing. Misheard: Making bullet-proof faces, Johnny Mathis, Cassius Clay. Misheard: Selling bullet-proof faces, Charlie Manson catches clean. Misheard: Selling bullet-proof faces, Charlie Manson cast in clay. Misheard: Setting bullet-proof faces, Charlie Manson cash is clay. Actual: Making bullet-proof faces, Charlie Manson, Cassius Clay. Misheard: In the back of a car, in the cellar of a judge with a torch jar. Actual: In the back of a car, in the cellar like a church with the door ajar. Misheard: Caress you on the ground, wild chicken in flight. Actual: Who press you on the ground while shaking in fright.

CANDIDATE (Demo) Misheard: I'll make it a thing, when I get out on stage to believe in myself. Actual: I make it a thing, when I gazelle on stage to believe in myself.

CAT PEOPLE (PUTTING OUT FIRE) Misheard: I been hoping they were never men. Actual: An ageless heart that can never mend. Misheard: And I've been putting out fire with the cats on me. Actual: And I've been putting out fire with gasoline.

CAN'T HELP THINKING ABOUT ME Misheard: I can't help thinking about meat. Actual: I can't help thinking about me. Misheard: My girl calls my name - Heidi. Actual: My girl calls my name - Hi Dave.

CHANGES Misheard: And my time was running wild, a million Devon streets. Actual: And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets. Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stage). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Time can seem so strange). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Time to leave the stage). Actual: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange). Misheard: Time may change me, but I can change time. Misheard: Time may change me, but I can chase time. Actual: Time may change me, but I can't trace time. Misheard: Watch the nipples change the size. Actual: I watch the ripples change their size. Misheard: But never leave the stream of warm incontinence. Actual: But never leave the stream of warm impermanence. Misheard: Don't tell them to grow up in Olivette. Misheard: Don't tell them to throw up an art event. Misheard: Don't tell them to blow up a parliament. Actual: Don't tell them to grow up and out of it. Misheard: It's a shame you've left us up to an accident. Misheard: Where's your shame you've left it up to the laxatives. Actual: Where's your shame you've left us up to our necks in it. Misheard: Strange fascination, fast hitting me. Misheard: Strange vaccinations are killing me. Actual: Strange fascination, fascinating me. Misheard: Changes are taking the face I'm going through. Misheard: Changes are taking the place I'm going to. Misheard: Changes are taking the phase I'm going to. Actual: Changes are taking the pace I'm going through.

CHINA GIRL Misheard: I feel erect without my, little China Girl. Actual: I feel a wreck without my, little China Girl. Misheard: I feel tragic like-a my long brand doll. Misheard: I feel attractive, like, uh - Marlon Brando. Misheard: I feel trudging Marlon Brando. Actual: I feel a-tragic like I'm Marlon Brando. Misheard: I could pretend that nothing will leave me to munch. Misheard: I could pretend that nothing really matter'd much. Actual: I could pretend that nothing really meant too much. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a sacred clown. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a singing clown. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a singing gown. Actual: I stumble into town, just like a sacred cow. Misheard: Legends of swa stickers in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: Visions of Sue Wah stickers in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: Visions of swastikas in my head, bombs for everyone. Actual: Visions of swastikas in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: It's in the why of my eyes. Actual: It's in the white of my eyes. Misheard: I'll give your man a voice to rule the world. Actual: I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world. Misheard: She says: "Oh baby, just you shut your mouse." Actual: She says: "Oh baby, just you shut your mouth." Misheard: I'll give you a million eyes to rule the world. Actual: I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world.

COME AND BUYS MY TOYS Misheard: Kiss the window merry child. Actual: Kiss the wind oh merry child.

CRACKED ACTOR Misheard: Crack, baby, crack, show me your rear. Actual: Crack, baby, crack, show me you're real. Misheard: Smack, baby, smack, is that all that you fear. Actual: Smack, baby, smack, is that all you feel. Misheard: Suck baby suck, give me sweet head. Actual: Suck baby suck, give me your head. Misheard: But since he pinched you baby you're a pork you pie. Misheard: But since he pinched you baby you're a porcupine. Actual: But since he pinned you baby you're a porcupine.

CRIMINAL WORLD Misheard: And now I know about your special cases. Actual: And now I know about your special kisses.

CYGNET COMMITTEE Misheard: Yeah and we slit Rick Astley's throat. Actual: Yeah and we slit the Catholic throat. Misheard: And I want to believe, in the madness they call Slough. Actual: And I want to believe, in the madness that calls 'now'.

DANCING OUT IN SPACE Misheard: Coming through the water. Actual: Cutting through the water. Misheard: To the city of solid isle through the kingdom of the boast. Actual: To the city of solid iron through the kingdom of the boast. Misheard: Something like a vision. Misheard: Something like revision. Actual: Something like religion. Misheard: Something like a diamond. Actual: Something like a drowning. Misheard: No-one here can meet you. Actual: No-one here can beat you. Misheard: Silent banks goes rolling by. Actual: Silent as Georges Rodenbach.

DAYS Misheard: My crazy brain intangled. Misheard: My crazy brain it tango's. Actual: My crazy brain in tangles. Misheard: Those storms keep pounding through my begging heart. Actual: Those storms keep pounding through my head and heart.

DIAMOND DOGS Misheard: When they pulled you out of the oxygen tank. Actual: As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent. Misheard: You asked for the latest Barbie. Misheard: You asked for the lady of this party. Misheard: You asked for the latest parting. Misheard: You asked for the latest heartache. Actual: You asked for the latest party. Misheard: Dressed like the freak you was, stop browning streaky walls. Misheard: Dressed like a priest he was, talk Downing Street he was. Actual: Dressed like a priest you was, Tod Browning's freak you was. Misheard: I'm sure you're not protected for this fantasy. Actual: I'm sure you're not protected, for it's plain to see. Misheard: The diamond dogs are vultures and they hide behind trees. Misheard: The diamond dogs have toasters and ask you home for tea. Misheard: The diamond dogs have poached eggs that they hide behind cheese. Actual: The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees. Misheard: Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins on kiddie wheels. Misheard: Hunt you to the ground they will, 'mericans will kill appeal. Misheard: Hunted to the ground they wore mannequins with calipers. Actual: Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal. Misheard: (Will they come?) - I hear your friend Celine. Misheard: (They come) - I keep her friends serene. Actual: (Will they come?) - I'll keep a friend serene. Misheard: Here they come - Oh baby come after me. Actual: Will they come? Oh baby come unto me. Misheard: Here they come - Well she called me a dog. Actual: Will they come? - Well she's come, been and gone. Misheard: Come out of the jungle baby, you caught your dick in the vault. Misheard: Come out of the doldrum baby, you'll catch your death in the fog. Misheard: Come out of the Garden of Eden, you'll catch your death in the Fall. Actual: Come out of the garden baby, you'll catch your death in the fog. Misheard: Onto the street he goes, all Tarzik all man ho. Actual: Onto the street below, oh Tarzie go man go. Misheard: Meet his little horsey with a goes down approach. Actual: Meet his little hussy with his ghost town approach. Misheard: Her face is sand speech although she wears a dolly brooch. Misheard: Her face is science feature, but she wears a diamond broach. Misheard: Her face, her saddest feature, but she wears a diamond roach. Misheard: Her face her saddest feature, but she wears a Dali brooch. Misheard: Her face is Sally feature, but she wears a Dolly brooch. Misheard: Her face is Sam's feature, but she wears a dally brooch. Misheard: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Diamond brooch. Misheard: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dalek brooch. Misheard: Her face is science fiction but she wears a dolly brooch. Actual: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dali brooch. Misheard: Rigged up and paralysed. Actual: Wrecked up and paralysed. Misheard: Diamond dogs are civilized. Misheard: Diamond dogs are sterlised. Misheard: Diamond dogs are stable lies. Misheard: Diamond dogs have stable eyes. Misheard: Diamond dogs are staple lies. Misheard: Diamond dogs are stabilised. Actual: Diamond dogs are sableized. Misheard: Just another future song, a lonely little quiche. Actual: Just another future song, lonely little kitsch.

DIRTY BOYS Misheard: Something likes you like a rose. Actual: Something like Tobacco Road. Misheard: We will run from dirty boys. Actual: We will run with dirty boys. Misheard: This ain't the moon this is burning, son. Actual: This ain't the moon this is burnin' sun.

DJ Misheard: Ann Holt, lost her job, and incurably ill. Misheard: Land ho! Lost my job, and incurably ill. Misheard: I'm home, lost my job, and incurable B.O. Actual: I'm home, lost my job, and incurably ill. Misheard: I am a DJ, I am what I play, I've got the levers. Actual: I am a DJ, I am what I play, I've got believers. Misheard: I got the levers, relieving me. Actual: I got believers, believing me. Misheard: Humbled by a bit of fruit. Actual: Humble pie or bitter fruit.

DRIVE-IN SATURDAY Misheard: Perhaps the strange ones in the dorm. Actual: Perhaps the strange ones in the dome. Misheard: When people stared and Jagger's eyes were sore. Actual: When people stared in Jagger's eyes and scored. Misheard: His name was always funny. Misheard: His name was always Bobby. Misheard: His name was always Bunny. Actual: His name was always Buddy. Misheard: His name was always Buddy, and he'd shag an asp to stay. Misheard: His name was always Buddy, and he's drunken as the stage. Actual: His name was always Buddy, and he'd shrug and ask to stay. Misheard: She smiled like twinkle wonder kid. Actual: She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid. Misheard: It's a crash call for the ravers. Actual: It's a crash course for the ravers. Misheard: John the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: John the foreman prays at work, knees and hands no limbs would burst. Misheard: Young the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: Jung the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would work. Actual: Jung the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: Bursting at the Astronette, which stands concealed by his cabinet. Actual: Cursing at the Astronette, who stands in steel by his cabinet. Misheard: The Durex supply for raging men. Actual: The Bureau supply for ageing men. Misheard: With snotty head he gazes to the shore. Actual: With snorting head he gazes to the shore. Misheard: Gimme that steam iron. Misheard: You love meat island. Actual: You love me an'.

EIGHT LINE POEM Misheard: Hera puts her head between the whores. Actual: Clara puts her head between her paws.

EVERYONE SAYS HI Misheard: If the food gets you livid. Misheard: If the food gets too heavy. Misheard: If the food gets too leary. Misheard: If the food gets too early. Misheard: If the food gets too eerie. Actual: If the food gets you leary. Misheard: And the girl makes four. Actual: And the girl next door. Misheard: And your big black dog. Misheard: And your big French dog. Misheard: And your big friends dog. Actual: And your big fat dog.

FALL DOG BOMBS THE MOON Misheard: These are my hands. Actual: There's oil on my hands.

FAME Misheard: Fame - makes a Mum takes things over. Misheard: Fame - make Iman take things over. Actual: Fame - makes a man take things over. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your breast? Misheard: Is it any wonder, I reject your breasts? Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your best. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your birth. Misheard: Isn't any wonder, I'll protect you first. Actual: Is it any wonder, I'll reject you first. Misheard: Shame, shame, shame, shame. Actual: Fame, fame, fame, fame. Misheard: Do it to you, do it to me, got to get a rental car... fame. Misheard: Bully for you, shoot 'em for me, gotta get a Reggie gun... fame. Misheard: Sugar for me, sugar for you, garlic and oregano... fame. Misheard: Booger for you, shoot her for me, got to get a rectum gun. Misheard: Bully for you, children for me, got to get the message on fame. Misheard: Bulla for you, bulla for me, gonna get the raincheck on the pain. Misheard: Bully for you, bully for me, gotta get original... fame. Actual: Bully for you, chilly for me, gotta get a raincheck on... pain. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your verse? Actual: Is it any wonder, I'll reject you first?

FASCINATION Misheard: Fascination - Shona. Misheard: Fascination - shown up. Actual: Fascination - sure 'nuff.

FASHION Misheard: We are the bourgeoise and we're coming on down, beep beep. Misheard: We are the goose wad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: We are the goo squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: We are the good squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Actual: We are the goon squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: Fa-fa-fa-fa-fascist. Actual: Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion.

FIVE YEARS Misheard: And all the fat-skinny meatball, and all the tall-short meatball. Actual: And all the fat-skinny people, and all the tall-short people. Misheard: And all the nobody meatball, and all the somebody meatball. Actual: And all the nobody people, and all the somebody people. Misheard: I never thought I'd need so many meatball. Actual: I never thought I'd need so many people. Misheard: And a queer threw up in the cider vat. Actual: And a queer threw up at the sight of that. Misheard: We've got five years, suck on my eyes. Actual: We've got five years, stuck on my eyes. Misheard: Five years, my braid shirts are lost. Actual: Five years, my brain hurts a lot.

FLY Misheard: I'm only sleeping in my head. Actual: I'm only screaming in my head. Misheard: The kids are gonna get it in an alright way. Actual: The kids have got a gig at an all night wave.

GIRL LOVES ME Misheard: Gina so sound, so titty up this malchick say. Actual: Cheena so sound, so titi up this malchick say. Misheard: Hey Gina. Actual: Hey cheena. Misheard: Where the fuck did mandem go? Actual: Where the fuck did Monday go?

GOLDEN YEARS Misheard: Come wallop the baby. Misheard: Come burp the baby. Misheard: Come with a potato. Actual: Come get up my baby. Misheard: Never look back, walk tall, I'm fine. Misheard: Never look back, walk tall as a pine. Actual: Never look back, walk tall, act fine. Misheard: I'll sleep with you baby for a thousand years. Actual: I'll stick with you baby for a thousand years. Misheard: Run for the Chateau, run for the Chateau. Actual: Run for the shadows, run for the shadows.

HEARTS FILTHY LESSON Misheard: There's always a dame unfriendly. Misheard: They're always so damned unfriendly. Misheard: There's always the dime and friendly. Actual: There's always the diamond friendly. Misheard: Sitting in the last motel. Misheard: Sitting in the Lab Hotel. Actual: Sitting in the Laugh Hotel. Misheard: Paddy, what a fantastic death abbey. Misheard: Paddy, what a fantastic death penalty. Misheard: Paddy, what a fantastic death axe. Actual: Paddy, what a fantastic death abyss.

HEAT Misheard: Rocking the waterfall. Actual: Blocking the waterfall. Misheard: My father ran the prism. Actual: My father ran the prison.

"HEROES" Misheard: I, I wish I could swim, like the doll things, like doll things can swim. Misheard: I, I wish I could swing, like the golf men, like golf men can swing. Actual: I, I wish I could swim, like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim. Misheard: We can eat Aero's, just for one day. Misheard: We can be here Rose, just for one day. Actual: We can be Heroes, just for one day. Misheard: And the guards, shot above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the cars, ran above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the Gods shone above our heads. Actual: And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the shed, was on the other side. Misheard: And the Seine, was on the other side. Actual: And the shame, was on the other side.

"HEROES"/"HELDEN" Misheard: Dancing with Helen. Actual: Und wir sind dann Helden. Misheard: Dancing with Helen, no decent togs. Misheard: Dancing with Helen, no decent tags. Actual: Dann sind wir Helden, nur diesen tag.

HEY MA GET PA Misheard: Cramped me up with salt, to heal a lemon peel. Actual: Cramped me up with salt, Tequila, lemon peel.

HOW DOES THE GRASS GROW? Misheard: There's a graveyard by the steps of girls. Actual: There's a graveyard by the station. Misheard: The boys ride their real ones upon the little hill. Actual: The boys ride their Riga-1's upon the little hill. Misheard: Remember the day. Actual: Remember the dead.

I AM WITH NAME Misheard: I will remain. Misheard: I am with mane. Actual: I am with name. Misheard: I am rolling a stone. Actual: I am Ramona A. Stone. Misheard: She should say: "twitch and moan". Actual: She should say: "twitch and stream".

I CAN'T EXPLAIN Misheard: Been circumcised, it's a certain kind. Actual: A new feeling inside, it's a certain kind.

I CAN'T GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY Misheard: Because we returned the prodigal sons. Misheard: The pulse returned to the prodigal sons. Actual: The pulse returns the prodigal sons.

I DIG EVERYTHING Misheard: I've got the village I love. Actual: I've got the village tied up.

I HAVE NOT BEEN TO OXFORD TOWN Misheard: Baby Grace is the big chant. Misheard: Baby Grace in the big time. Misheard: Maybe this is a rectum. Actual: Baby Grace is the victim.

I PITY THE FOOL Misheard: Well I'm pitiful, I said I'm pitiful, you know I'm pitiful. Actual: Well I pity the fool, I said I pity the fool, you know I pity the fool.

I TOOK A TRIP ON A GEMINI SPACESHIP Misheard: I shot myself down. Actual: I shot my spacegun. Misheard: Saw a dust trail, leading back to you. Actual: The stardust trail, leading back to you.

I WOULD BE YOUR SLAVE Misheard: Walking through the snowy stream. Actual: Walking in the snowy street. Misheard: We'll sleep a quiet tune. Actual: Do you sleep in quietude. Misheard: We'll laugh out love peace. Actual: Do you laugh out loud at me. Misheard: I don't sinner and wait. Actual: I don't sit and wait. Misheard: I don't see the walk whole. Actual: I don't see the point at all. Misheard: Give me piece of my programme. Actual: Give me peace of mind at last. Misheard: Open up love heart to me. Actual: Open up your heart to me.

I'D RATHER BE HIGH Misheard: Nabokov is so late now. Actual: Nabokov is sun-licked now. Misheard: Upon the beach and dreaming how. Actual: Upon the beach at Grunewald. Misheard: The way that Arthur's look. Misheard: The way that others look. Misheard: The way that lovers look. Actual: The way that authors look. Misheard: Gossip till their lips are bleeding politics of yore. Misheard: Gossip till their lips are bleeding politics of old. Actual: Gossip till their lips are bleeding politics and all.

I'LL TAKE YOU THERE Misheard: Your heart's beating fast, as we race through the park. Actual: Your heart's beating fast, as we race through the dark. Misheard: Sophie and Raif are running away. Actual: Sophie and Lev are running away. Misheard: Raif can't smile, Sophie can't sing. Actual: Lev can't smile, Sophie can't sing.

I'M AFRAID OF AMERICANS Misheard: Johnny wants to suck up my conk. Misheard: Johnny wants to suck on a cock. Actual: Johnny wants to suck on a Coke. Misheard: I'm afraid of a pelican. Actual: I'm afraid of Americans.

IF YOU CAN SEE ME Misheard: A love of violence, a dread of size. Actual: A love of violence, a dread of sighs.

ISN'T IT EVENING (THE REVOLUTIONARY) Misheard: Isn't it heaving. Actual: Isn't it evening.

IT AIN'T EASY Misheard: It ain't easy to catch your helmet when you're going down. Actual: It ain't easy to get to heaven when you're going down. Misheard: We can all hop along too. Actual: We can all pull on through.

IT'S NO GAME (Part 2) Misheard: They're making carpets on treadmills, oh God it's sordid. Actual: They're making carpets on treadmills, or garbage sorting.

JOE THE LION Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a facade. Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a far side. Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a piss off. Actual: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is the kiss off. Misheard: Hover over any freeway. Actual: Hobble over any freeway.

JOHN, I'M ONLY DANCING Misheard: Well, Ann is pretty neat, she always needs to meet. Misheard: Anne's pretty, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Always pretty Nietsche, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Her name is Brittany, she always eats her meat. Actual: Well, Ann is pretty neat, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Joe is awful strong, you bet you're life he's in this song. Misheard: She's always awful strong, save a life, she's putting us on. Misheard: Joe is awful strong, bet he likes his prick in the sun. Actual: Joe is awful strong, bet your life he's putting us on. Misheard: 'Allo there, 'allo there, you know I need some loving. Misheard: Oh no dear, oh no dear, you know that I need some loving. Actual: Oh lordy, oh lordy, you know I need some loving. Misheard: God, I wanna go dancing! You turn me on. Actual: John, I'm only dancing, She turns me on. Misheard: Shadow love was quicker than me, found yourself a fun machine. Actual: Oh shadow love was quick and clean, life's a well thumbed machine.

KINGDOM COME Misheard: It was my prize toupée. Actual: It was my price to pay

KNOCK ON WOOD Misheard: She sees, to it, that I get a knob. Actual: She sees, to it, that I get enough.

KOOKS Misheard: Will you stay in our lavatory? Actual: Will you stay in our lovers' story?

LADY GRINNING SOUL Misheard: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay the leaf on you. Misheard: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay a leaf on you. Actual: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay belief on you. Misheard: Skin sweet with musky odour. Actual: Skin sweet with musky oil. Misheard: Cologne she'll wear. Silver and a merry card. Actual: Cologne she'll wear. Silver and Americard. Misheard: She'll drive a beat up car. Actual: She'll drive a Beetle car. Misheard: And meet you down at cool you bastard. Actual: And beat you down at cool Canasta.

LADY STARDUST Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grins. Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal graze. Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, sodom and grace. Actual: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace. Misheard: And he was all for lice, really quite out of sight. Actual: And he was awful nice, really quite out of sight. Misheard: Jessie was awful nice. Misheard: Yes, he was up all night. Actual: Yes he was awful nice.

LAW (EARTHLINGS ON FIRE) Misheard: I don't want no eggs, I want sausages. Misheard: I don't want knowledge, I want sausage. Misheard: I don't want knowledge, I want sausages. Actual: I don't want knowledge, I want certainty.

LET'S DANCE Misheard: Let's dance, put up with Reg Hughes and dance the blues. Misheard: Les Dennis, put on your red shoes and dance the blues. Actual: Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues. Misheard: Let's dance, for fear in gray chiffon. Misheard: Let's dance, the feel of gray chiffon. Actual: Let's dance, for fear your grace should fall.

LIFE ON MARS? Misheard: Saviours hiding on the dance floor. Actual: Sailors fighting in the dance hall. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those gay men go. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those pavements go. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those gay men go. Actual: Oh man! Look at those cavemen go. Misheard: Take a look at the old man, feeling up the wrong guy. Misheard: Take a look at the Lawman, feeling up the wrong guy. Misheard: Take a look at the wrong man, eating up the lunguy. Actual: Take a look at the Lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Misheard: It's on a merry cast orchard brow. Actual: It's on Amerika's tortured brow. Misheard: 'Cos lemons on sale again. Misheard: 'Cos Lennin's on sale again. Misheard: 'Cos Lemmings on sale again. Actual: 'Cos Lennon's on sale again. Misheard: To my mother, my darkened clouds. Misheard: To my mother, me dog enclowns. Actual: To my mother, my dog, and clowns.

LITTLE BOMBARDIER Misheard: What made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mear. Misheard: War made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mear. Actual: War made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mair.

LITTLE WONDER Misheard: Stinky weather fan, shaky hand. Actual: Stinky weather fat, shaky hand. Misheard: Dopey morning, Dot Cotton comes. Actual: Dopey morning Doc, grumpy gnomes. Misheard: Bitch screen dolls, tits and explosions. Misheard: Big scream dolls, tits and explosions. Actual: Big screen dolls, tits and explosions. Misheard: It's all in the tablets, sneezy Britain. Actual: It's all in the tablets, sneezy Bhutan. Misheard: Ma's happy nation, sit on my karma, day medication, take me away. Misheard: Ma's happy nation, sit on my karma, gay meditation, take me away. Misheard: Mars happy nation, sit on my car, dying medication, take me away. Actual: Mars happy nation, sit on my karma, dame meditation, take me away.

LONDON BYE, TA-TA Misheard: His cardboard plate is soggy. Misheard: His cardboard face is soggy. Actual: His cardboard faith is soggy.

LOOKING FOR WATER Misheard: Still the leaves are spinning round. Actual: Silver leaves are spinning round. Misheard: Looking for Walter. Actual: Looking for water. Misheard: My la la's gone in a New York minute. Actual: But I lost God in a New York minute. Misheard: The dawns early light, damaged forever. Misheard: The dawns early light, baby, dark is forever. Actual: The dawns early light, Baby dumb is forever.

LOVE IS LOST Misheard: Tell them your secrets, they'll light the grave. Actual: Tell them your secrets, they're like the grave. Misheard: You refuse to talk, but you think like me. Actual: You refuse to talk, but you think like mad. Misheard: You've cut out your zone and the things unfold. Actual: You've cut out your soul and the face of thought.

MAGIC DANCE Misheard: Slap that baby, make him pee. Actual: Slap that baby, make him free.

MEMORY OF A FREE FESTIVAL Misheard: And sowing machines of every shape and size. Actual: And saw machines of every shape and size. Misheard: The sowing machine is coming down. Actual: The sun machine is coming down.

MODERN LOVE Misheard: I catch the paper boy, who sings so really gay. Misheard: I catch a papal void, but things don't really change. Actual: I catch the paper boy, but things don't really change. Misheard: (Church on time), terrifies me, (church on time), makes me vomit. Misheard: (Church on time), televise me, (church on time), makes me party. Actual: (Church on time), terrifies me, (church on time), makes me party. Misheard: (Church on time), puts my trust in gardening. Actual: (Church on time), puts my trust in God and Man. Misheard: Gardening - no confession. Actual: God and Man - no confession. Misheard: Gardening - no religion. Actual: God and Man - no religion. Misheard: Modern love, makes me horny. Actual: Modern love, makes me party. Misheard: Put it in the larder, put it in the larder. Actual: Modern love, Modern love.

MOONAGE DAYDREAM Misheard: I'm an alley cager, I'm a mama-papa calling for you. Misheard: I'm an alligator, I'm a motherf**ker coming for you. Actual: I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a big hairy butt. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, just hold me like a big monkey bird. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you smoke a lot of big monkey butt. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you're talking like a big monkey bird. Actual: Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a pink monkey bird. Misheard: Keep your electric iron on ebay. Actual: Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe. Misheard: Put your ring onto my hand. Actual: Put your ray gun to my head. Misheard: Press your space cake down to my throat. Misheard: Press your spaced face close to mine, love. Misheard: Press your space face close to Michael. Actual: Press your space face close to mine, love.

MOVE ON Misheard: Africa is sleeping evil. Actual: Africa is sleepy people.

MUSIC IS LETHAL Misheard: My friend, myself, bottom's hero. Actual: My friend, myself, boredom's hero. Misheard: Stumble falling to a Windsor table in search of wine. Actual: Stumble falling to a winsome table in search of wine. Misheard: Through the twisting inner screaming pleasure. Actual: Through the twisting inn of screaming pleasure. Misheard: Two wet lips of infinite pleasure smiled. Actual: Two wet lips of infant leisure smiled. Misheard: As they 'ready or not' in the air. Actual: As they play your night blue hair. Misheard: So a masked man showed more. Actual: So a masked man should mourn. Misheard: She's about to give in, for the music is lethal. Actual: Let the panting begin, though the music is lethal. Misheard: Take time on my hair, it was mine own party. Actual: She will shine on forever, he will shine on for me. Misheard: While Algerian waiters, grope at your shoulders. Actual: While jeering waiters, grope at your shoulders. Misheard: Exquisite room, my charming tool. Actual: Exquisite room, my charming tomb. Misheard: Your smooth pink Piranha. Actual: Your smooth pimp Piranha. Misheard: Let him tossed to be in a one way street. Actual: And then I'm tossed a-bleeding out on the street.

NATHAN ADLER - SEGUE 2 Misheard: With a criss cross machete, and slashes around cutting his ear hole an' everything. Misheard: With a criss criss machete, and slashes around cutting his ear on everything. Misheard: With a kris kris machete, and slashes around cutting a zero in everything. Actual: With a criss criss machete, and slashes around cutting a zero on everything.

NEVER GET OLD Misheard: I think about this and I think about there's no history. Actual: I think about this and I think about personal history.

NEW ANGELS OF PROMISE Misheard: We are the day dreamers. Actual: We are the dead dreams. Misheard: Take us to the 'Hedge of Thyme'. Actual: Take us to the edge of time.

NEW KILLER STAR Misheard: I never said umbrella, umbrella, umbrella. Actual: I never said I'm better, I'm better, I'm better. Misheard: I just gobbed at the scum. Actual: I discovered a star. Misheard: All the corners of the buildings, will the Queen remember these? Actual: All the corners of the buildings, who but we remember these? Misheard: The cyborgs and tease. Misheard: The cyborgs in trees. Misheard: The cyborgs and trees. Actual: The sidewalks and trees. Misheard: I'm not afraid of things. Actual: I got a better way. Misheard: A nuclear star. Actual: A new killer star.

NO CONTROL Misheard: If I could control tomorrow's haze, the doctors sure wouldn't bother me. Actual: If I could control tomorrow's haze, the darkened shore wouldn't bother me.

OH! YOU PRETTY THINGS Misheard: Oh God, I've judged you wrong. Misheard: Look out at Churchill Down. Misheard: Look out over Churchills farm. Actual: Look at your children. Misheard: All you Britney Spears, don't you know you're driving some, driving some drivers insane. Actual: Oh you pretty things, don't you know you're driving your Mamas and Papas insane.

PABLO PICASSO Misheard: Swinging on her back, boys jumping off a breeze block. Actual: Swinging on the back porch, jumping off a big log. Misheard: Never seemed better now. Actual: Pablo's feeling better now.

PANIC IN DETROIT Misheard: The only survivor of The National People's scam. Actual: The only survivor of The National People's Gang. Misheard: Alison Detroit. Misheard: Alley is destroyed. Actual: Panic in Detroit. Misheard: Putting on some clothes I made my waiter school. Actual: Putting on some clothes I made my way to school. Misheard: And I found my teacher crouching in his overwroughts. Misheard: And I found my teacher crouching he was overawed. Actual: And I found my teacher crouching in his overalls. Misheard: I screamed and ran to smash my favourite sun machine. Misheard: I screamed 'Iran' and smash my favourite slot machine. Actual: I screamed and ran to smash my favourite slot machine.

PLANET OF DREAMS Misheard: We're living in Italian dreams. Actual: We're living in a planet of dreams.

PROVINCE Misheard: Try to breathe, as the world is intergraced. Actual: Try to breathe, as the world disintegrates. Misheard: Open tenderly to what remains. Actual: Holding tenderly to what remains. Misheard: And all your memories are as freshest as stone. Actual: And all your memories, are as precious as gold. Misheard: And all the honey, and the fire with your soul. Misheard: And all the honey, a fire witch' a soul. Misheard: And all the money, and the fire which have sold. Actual: And all the honey, and the fire which you've stole. Misheard: Have you running through all your wretched days. Actual: Have you running through all your red-cheeked days. Misheard: Shaking loose these sounds, from their sacred high in space. Misheard: Shaking loose these sounds from their sacred highered space. Actual: Shaking loose these souls, from their sacred hiding space. Misheard: Stand steadfast be brave and see. Actual: Stand steadfast erect and see. Misheard: Hear me, high low that other voices occupy. Misheard: Hear this hello that other voices occupy. Misheard: Hear this hello that lovers voices occupy. Actual: In this hollow that lovers' voices occupy. Misheard: Much like Falcons tumbling from the high set plain. Misheard: Much like Falcons tumbling from the high set blaze. Actual: Much like Falcons tumbling from the heights at play. Misheard: Open join, open gate. Misheard: Open join open gaze. Misheard: Open join open gauge. Misheard: Open join, hope and gaze. Misheard: Open John, open gate. Actual: Conjoined, talons engaged. Misheard: Stand steadfast, bereath and see. Actual: Stand steadfast beside me and see.

QUEEN BITCH Misheard: My heart's in the basement, my weak ass in an all time low. Actual: My heart's in the basement, my weekend's at an all time low.

QUICKSAND Misheard: I'm the twisted name on Goebbels eyes. Actual: I'm the twisted name on Garbo's eyes.

REBEL REBEL Misheard: She's like no other in your world. Actual: You've got your Mother in a whirl. Misheard: She's not sure if your bored or a girl. Actual: She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl. Misheard: You want more and we want advice. Actual: You want more and you want it fast. Misheard: Your jacket thing, you put them on. Actual: You tacky thing, you put them on. Misheard: Rabble rabble, you've torn your dress. Misheard: Rebel rebel, put on your dress. Misheard: Rebel rebel, what's on your dress? Misheard: Rebel rebel, it's on your dress. Actual: Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress. Misheard: Hot pants, I love you so. Misheard: Hot damn, I love you so. Misheard: Hot tramp, I love your soul. Misheard: Hot tran, I love your so. Actual: Hot tramp, I love you so. Misheard: You got your fuel line and I hand out the news. Misheard: You got your fuel line and a handful of blues. Misheard: You got your cue lines and a handful of 'ludes. Misheard: You got a few lines, and a handful of 'ludes. Actual: You got ya fuel line and a handful of 'ludes. Misheard: What can I do for you? Looks like your beanbag too. Actual: What can I do for you? Looks like you've been there too.

RED MONEY Misheard: Project cancelled, time link central. Actual: Project cancelled, tumbling central.

RED SAILS Misheard: Lost and still I'm Swiss. Actual: Life stands still and stares.

REPETITION Misheard: And the food is on the table, but the food is cold. Don't eat it. Misheard: And the food is on the table, but the food is cold. Don't heat it. Actual: And the food is on the table, but the food is cold. Don't hit her.

RICOCHET Misheard: Watch your dollars, watch your dimes. Actual: March of flowers, march of dimes.

RIGHT Misheard: Keeping it in the back. Actual: Keeping it in the bag. Misheard: Finding just a sweet place, coming inside yourself. Misheard: Flying is such a sweet place, coming inside yourself. Actual: Flying just a sweet place, coming inside and safe.

ROCK 'N' ROLL SUICIDE Misheard: The Walter Wall is calling. Misheard: The waterfall is calling. Misheard: The wall-to-wall is calling. Actual: The water-wall is calling. Misheard: You're washing yourself but you're too unfair. Misheard: You're watching yourself but you're not there. Misheard: You're watching yourself but you don't care. Actual: You're watching yourself but you're too unfair. Misheard: Chef breaks for Stalin as you stumble across the road. Misheard: Chef breaks for snarling as you stumble across the road. Actual: Chev brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road.

ROCK 'N' ROLL WITH ME Misheard: Me I'm out of breath, but not quite down yet. Actual: Me I'm out of breath, but not quite doubting.

SACRIFICE YOURSELF Misheard: Thirty-five years pass him, like an evening at the circus. Actual: Twenty-five years pass him, like an evening at the circus. Misheard: She blew the troops right off your feet. Actual: She blew the shoes right off your feet. Misheard: She tells you she's got Granite. Misheard: She tells you she's got Granny. Misheard: She tells you she's God's Granny. Actual: She tells you she's God's Grammy. Misheard: Her, the only game in town, a queen of competence. Actual: Her, the only game in town, a queen of confidence.

SCARY MONSTERS (AND SUPER CREEPS) Misheard: She had a horror of groom, she was torn up by a guy like me. Misheard: She had an aura of runes and she was tied, but you can't hide feet. Misheard: She had a horror of rooms, she was tied by all four feet. Misheard: She had a horror of brooms, she was tired you can't hide me. Actual: She had a horror of rooms, she was tired you can't hide beat. Misheard: She was tired you can't hide me. Actual: She was tired you can't hide beat. Misheard: She began to weigh ol' teles and screens, picking at her lies... Actual: She began to wail jealousies screams, waiting at the lights... Misheard: She asked for my love and I gave her a dangerous mine. Actual: She asked for my love and I gave her a dangerous mind. Misheard: Now she's sleepin' in the street and she cancels the lies. Misheard: Now she's sleepin' in the streets and she can't socialise. Actual: Now she's stupid in the street and she can't socialise.

SEGUE - RAMONA A. STONE / I AM WITH NAME Misheard: An apeman with metal farts. Actual: And ape men with metal parts. Misheard: I will remain. Misheard: I am with mane. Actual: I am with name. Misheard: I am rolling a stone. Actual: I am Ramona A. Stone. Misheard: She should say: "twitch and moan". Actual: She should say: "twitch and stream".

SELL ME A COAT Misheard: Wanting all the world wart hog. Actual: Watching all the world worn torn.

SEVEN YEARS IN TIBET Misheard: Beyond the yoga-zone. Actual: Beyond the ochre-zone.

SHE SHOOK ME COLD Misheard: Remember Paula Hill? The night was cool and still. Actual: We met upon a hill, the night was cool and still. Misheard: She sucked my doorman Will. Misheard: She sucked my dong at will. Actual: She sucked my dormant will. Misheard: Father, she gave me head, Oh Lord, the things she said. Actual: Father, she craved my head, Oh Lord, the things she said.

SHE'LL DRIVE THE BIG CAR Misheard: Way back when Millennium, man friend sing to the lines. Actual: Way back when Millennium, meant racing to the light. Misheard: Loves lies like a dead clown. Actual: Loves lies like a dead cloud. Misheard: Savaloin and hustle, yeah. Actual: South along the Hudson, yeah. Misheard: Bursting her bubbles of love flow and grand. Actual: Bursting her bubbles of Ludlow and Grand.

SILLY BOY BLUE Misheard: People are walking the Botella lanes. Misheard: People are walking the Bordello lanes. Actual: People are walking the Potala lanes.

SILLY BOY BLUE (2000 version) Misheard: Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Choo. Actual: Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chimi, Chim.

SLIP AWAY Misheard: Boogie waits for just another day. Actual: Oogie waits for just another day. Misheard: Arms by tarts and quick as day. Actual: Arms by talks and quick as break. Misheard: Bones and ridges on the silver screen. Misheard: Bones by ta-ta's on the silver screen. Misheard: Jones buys ta-ta's on the silver screen. Actual: Bones and talk on the silver screen. Misheard: Don't forget to keep your head on. Actual: Don't forget to keep your head warm. Misheard: Twinkle twinkle hunk of light. Misheard: Twinkle twinkle hunk of flight. Actual: Twinkle twinkle Uncle Floyd. Misheard: Watching the whole world walked on. Actual: Watching all the whole world worn torn. Misheard: We were dumb but you were fucked boy. Misheard: We were done but you were football. Actual: We were done but you were fun boy. Misheard: Boogie knew there's never ever time. Actual: Oogie knew there's never ever time.

SLOW BURN Misheard: Dear shall we live in this terrible town. Actual: Here shall we live in this terrible town. Misheard: And the boys shell their lives. Misheard: And the walls shall have eyes. Actual: And the walls share their lies. Misheard: And the dawn shall perish. Misheard: And the doors shall have ears. Actual: And the doors shall perish. Misheard: And the slow bird - leading us on and on. Actual: And the slow burn - leading us on and on. Misheard: Glitter, glitter. Actual: Slow burn, slow burn. Misheard: These are the darkest of all. Actual: These are the darkest hole. Misheard: There's Pete over there. Actual: There's fear over head. Misheard: There's feel over ground. Actual: There's fear over ground.

SO SHE Misheard: For the priceless man, who suffers glue. So slow. Actual: For the priceless man, who suffers gloom. So slow.

SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME Misheard: Everybody's chalking, on everybody's wall. Actual: Everybody's token, on everybody's wall. Misheard: F**king all the babies, kissing all the ladies. Actual: Hugging all the babies, kissing all the ladies. Misheard: Planet strobe the day was June. Actual: Planets wrote the day was due.

SOMETHING IN THE AIR Misheard: You're cold and had a gun. Actual: Your coat and hat are gone. Misheard: I really can't stand to look at your little empty shell. Misheard: I really can't look at your little empty shell. Actual: I really can't look at your little empty shelf.

SONG FOR BOB DYLAN Misheard: Same old painted lady from the plow of the supergrain. Actual: The same old painted lady from the brow of the superbrain.

SONS OF THE SILENT AGE Misheard: Sons of the silent age pace their rooms like a Dell Dimension. Actual: Sons of the silent age pace their rooms like a cell's dimensions.

SOUL LOVE Misheard: To sleep - through the bleeding hours of morning. Actual: To sleep - through the fleeting hours of morning. Misheard: Love is careless in its choosing - sweeping over Crosse and Blackwell. Misheard: Love is careless in it's choosing - sweeping over blossomed babies. Actual: Love is careless in its choosing - sweeping over cross an' baby. Misheard: Inspirations have I none, just to touch the flaming dog. Misheard: Inspirations have I none, just to touch the flaming dud. Misheard: Inspirations have I none, just a touch of flaming love. Actual: Inspirations have I none, just to touch the flaming dove. Misheard: All I have is my rubber glove and love is not loving. Actual: All I have is my love of love and love is not loving.

SOUND AND VISION Misheard: Don't you wonder sometimes 'bout Salmon fishing? Actual: Don't you wonder sometimes 'bout sound and vision? Misheard: Blew, blew the electric's blew. Misheard: Boobs, boobs, electric boobs. Actual: Blue, blue electric blue.

SPACE ODDITY Misheard: Ground to grow tomatoes on. Misheard: Grant control to make your tongue. Misheard: Clown control to Mao Tse-Tung. Actual: Ground Control to Major Tom. Misheard: Ground control to Mao Tse-Tung, take your drowsing pills and put your helmet on. Misheard: Ground control to Major Tom, take your propane pills and put your helmet on. Misheard: Ground control to Major Tom, take your pro teen pills and put your helmet on. Actual: Ground control to Major Tom, take your protein pills and put your helmet on. Misheard: This is ground control to Major Tongue. Actual: This is ground control to Major Tom. Misheard: This is ground control to Major Fly, come men sit count down, engines on. Actual: This is ground control to Major Tom, commencing count down, engines on. Misheard: And the papers want to know who shot you where. Actual: And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear. Misheard: I'm stepping through the dawn. Actual: I'm stepping through the door. Misheard: For here, am I shitting in a tin can. Actual: For here am I sitting in a tin can. Misheard: I'm feeling very scared. Actual: I'm feeling very still.

STAR Misheard: I said "Oh Holy Crap!" to my honey. Actual: I'd send my photograph to my honey.

STARMAN Misheard: Fig-aro. Misheard: État d'âme. Actual: Hey, now now. Misheard: Some cat was layin' down some rock n' roll, or so he said. Misheard: Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll on a Sony set. Misheard: Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll down in Somerset. Actual: Some cat was layin' down some rock 'n' roll "lotta soul", he said Misheard: Then the light song did seem to fade. Actual: Then the loud sound did seem to fade. Misheard: Came back like a school voice on a wave of face. Actual: Came back like a slow voice on a wave of phase. Misheard: That weren't no DJ that was hazy cosmic ties. Misheard: That was no DJ, that was Isaac Asimov tight. Actual: That weren't no DJ that was hazy cosmic jive. Misheard: There's a snowman, waiting by the phone. Misheard: There's a starman, waiting in me thighs. Actual: There's a starman, waiting in the sky. Misheard: Cos he knows it's all worse while. Misheard: Cos he knows it's all works wild. Actual: Cos he knows it's all worthwhile. Misheard: Don't tell your papa or he'll get us locked up in France. Misheard: Don't tell your poppa, he'll get us locked up outta sight. Actual: Don't tell your poppa or he'll get us locked up in fright.

STATION TO STATION Misheard: Throwing darts in lover's thighs. Misheard: Throwing darts in mother's eyes. Actual: Throwing darts in lover's eyes. Misheard: Here are we, one magical movement from Kevin to Malcolm. Actual: Here are we, one magical movement from Kether to Malkuth. Misheard: And once there were some birds to score with. Actual: And once there were sun birds to soar with. Misheard: Wonderful, wonderful, wonder winds. Actual: Wonder (who), wonder who, wonder when. Misheard: Have you such fortunes in faces and child? Actual: Have you sought fortune, evasive and shy? Misheard: Drink, drink, raise your glass, raise your glass eye. Misheard: Drink, drink, drain your glass, raise your glass high. Misheard: Drink, drink, drain your glass, razorblade eye. Actual: Drink, drink, raise your glass, raise your glass high. Misheard: It's not the side-effects of her cooking. Actual: It's not the side-effects of the cocaine. Misheard: The European Canada's here. Actual: The European Canon is here.

STAY Misheard: This weak drink passed me so slowly. Actual: This week dragged past me so slowly. Misheard: I really meant to so badly this time. Actual: I really meant to so bad this time.

STRANGERS WHEN WE MEET Misheard: I'm enwrangled, we scavenge up our clothes. Misheard: Humming Rheingold, we scavenge in bathrobes. Actual: Humming Rheingold, we scavenge up our clothes. Misheard: Cold tired fingers, tapping out your mammaries. Actual: Cold tired fingers, tapping out your memories.

SUFFRAGETTE CITY Misheard: Hey man, I gotta spade in my face. Actual: Hey man, I gotta straighten my face. Misheard: Another fat chick just put my spine out of place. Misheard: The smell of fat chicks just put my spine out of place. Misheard: The smell of fat chicks just wiped the smile off my face. Misheard: The smell of that fat chick just put my style outta place. Misheard: The smell of that chick's just put my spine out of place. Misheard: This mellow fat chick just put my spine out of place. Misheard: This mellow black chick just put my spine out of place. Misheard: This mellow thighed chick just put my spam outta place. Misheard: This mellow fat chick just put my back out of place. Actual: This mellow thighed chick just put my spine out of place. Misheard: Hey man, my spool in insane. Misheard: Hey man, my school boy's insane. Actual: Hey man, my schooldays insane. Misheard: Hey man, my what down the drain. Actual: Hey man, my work's down the drain. Misheard: Hey man, ahh she's a total bam bam. Actual: Hey man, well she's a total blam-blam. Misheard: You can't afford a ticket, not with somethin' conceded. Misheard: You can't afford a ticket, not when somethin' gets in it. Misheard: You can't afford a chicken, back to Suffragette City. Misheard: Don't lean on my van, 'cos you can't afford the titty. Misheard: Don't lean on me man, 'cos you ain't my type of chicken. Misheard: Don't lean on me man, 'cos you're a California Chicken! Misheard: Don't lean on my van, 'cos you can't afford the ticket. Misheard: Don't lean on me van, 'cos you can't afford the chicken. Actual: Don't lean on me man, 'cos you can't afford the ticket, I'm back on Suffragette City. Misheard: Hey man, oh you don't think I'm kind go way. Actual: Hey man, Henry, don't be unkind, go away. Misheard: Fact it's something conceited. Actual: 'Cos you ain't got time to check it. Misheard: You know it's something conceited. Actual: You know my Suffragette City. Misheard: The stuff that you sit in. Misheard: Sulphur Jet City. Misheard: Suffer Jet City. Misheard: Southern Jet City. Misheard: Chocolate Chip City. Misheard: Something gets in it. Misheard: The suckers conceited. Misheard: What's up with your titties? Misheard: I'm gonna suck on your titty Misheard: Mom, what's up your cities? Misheard: Mom, what's up your titties? Misheard: I've got into thin air. Actual: Suffragette City. Misheard: Ahhh, wham bam vacuum man! Actual: Ahhh, wham bam thank you Ma'am!

SUBTERRANEANS Misheard: Driving the Chevy, Chevy, Chevy hoooome. Actual: Riding the shirley, shirley, shirley umm.

SUNDAY Misheard: We could run when the rain snows. Actual: We could run when the rain slows. Misheard: Look for The Corrs or signs or life. Misheard: Look for the cause or signs or life. Actual: Look for the cars or signs of life. Misheard: Foreign truth, it's the beginning of nothing. Actual: For in truth, it's the beginning of nothing. Misheard: For in truth, it's the beginning of man. Actual: For in truth, it's the beginning of an end. Misheard: This is the trip, and this the business we tread. Misheard: This is the trip, and this the business we trail. Misheard: This is the trip, and this the business retail. Actual: This is the trip, and this the business we take. Misheard: No working in remember, for my trials, Lord. Actual: This is our number, All my trials, Lord.

SURVIVE Misheard: Give me wings, give me spanks. Actual: Give me wings, give me space. Misheard: These noisy rooms and bad champagne, I locked you. Misheard: Those noisy rooms and passion plants, I loved you. Actual: Those noisy rooms and passion pants, I loved you. Misheard: Beatle boys, all snowy white, razzle dazzle plants, every night. Misheard: Brutal boys, all snowy white, razzle dazzle gloves, every night. Actual: Beatle boys, all snowy white, razzle dazzle clubs, every night.

SWEET HEAD Misheard: And the faggy boy kissed the burnt out fang. Actual: And by the faggy park and the burnt out vans. Misheard: So Bob, your sweet head, rather Ziggy gonna play, I'm just about the best of you here. Gonna rock it in your head, coz I'm Al Capone when my guitar and me start banging. Actual: So bob your sweet head, Brother Ziggy gonna play, I'm just about the best you can hear. Gonna rock it in your head, Shazam! and come ball, with my guitar and me soprano. Misheard: I'm your rubber peacock and jelly coin.. Actual: I'm your rubber peacock angelic whore.

SWEET THING Misheard: It's safe in the city, to love in a dill way. Actual: It's safe in the city, to love in a doorway. Misheard: Is isn't it like in your sow stall, freezing your brain? Actual: Is it nice in your snow storm, freezing your brain?

TEENAGE WILDLIFE Misheard: I miss you, idiot, I took off. Actual: I miss you he had to go.

TELLING LIES Misheard: Oo ah pictionary, oo ah dictionary. Actual: Oo ah, missionary, oo ah, visionary.

THE BEWLAY BROTHERS Misheard: Hanging out with your problem. Misheard: Hanging out with your twelve men. Actual: Hanging out with your Dwarf men. Misheard: Well, I was stoned and he was whacked. Actual: Well, I was stone and he was wax.

THE DREAMERS Misheard: Black-eyed peas and a spiral ham. Actual: Black-eyed Ravens, they spiral down. Misheard: The last of the creamer. Actual: The last of the dreamers.

THE JEAN GENIE Misheard: Small Jean Genie f**ked off on the city. Actual: A small Jean Genie snuck off to the city. Misheard: Strung out on lasers and slash back lasers. Misheard: Strung out her lazies while holding the elevator. Misheard: Strung out on lasers and slash back plazas. Actual: Strung out on lasers and slash back blazers. Misheard: And ate all your raisins while pulling out your underwear. Actual: An' ate all your razors while pulling the waiter. Misheard: Talking about Monroe and walking on snow wine. Misheard: Walking on moon night and talking on Snow White. Actual: Talking 'bout Monroe and walking on Snow White. Misheard: New York's space age where everything tastes right. Actual: New York's a go-go an' everything tastes nice. Misheard: "Get that part." Misheard: "Get back honey." Actual: "Get back on it." Misheard: The Jean Genie bulge in his slacks. Misheard: The Jean Genie loves chimney slacks. Misheard: The Jean Genie lunch in his daks. Misheard: The Jean Genie loves genie snacks. Misheard: The Jean Genie loves Jimmy's slacks. Misheard: The Jean Genie loved Jimmy's knacks. Misheard: The Jean Genie loves chessey snacks. Actual: The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks. Misheard: He's outrageous, he screams as he balls. Actual: He's outrageous, he screams and he bawls. Misheard: She'll hug him, she loves him but just for a short while. Actual: She loves him, she loves him but just for a short while. Misheard: And keeps all your dead for making of fun wear. Actual: And keeps all your dead hair for making up underwear. Misheard: He's so simple minded he can't drive his mother home. Misheard: He's so simple minded he can't drive his mark pool. Misheard: He's so simple-minded he can't drive his mojool. Misheard: He's so simple-minded he can't raise is right hand. Misheard: He's so simple-minded cab drivers Marc Bolan. Actual: He's so simple minded he can't drive his module. Misheard: He fights on the neon and sleeps on a capsule. Actual: He bites on the neon and sleeps in the capsule.

THE LAUGHING GNOME Misheard: In scarlet and grey, shuffling away. Actual: In scarlet and grey, chuckling away.

THE LONDON BOYS Misheard: A bell strikes another night. Actual: Bow Bells strikes another night. Misheard: Oh, the first time that you tried a fill. Actual: Oh, the first time that you tried a pill.

THE LONELIEST GUY Misheard: Streets stem from mourn. Actual: Streets damp and warm. Misheard: Empty smelt metal. Actual: Empty smell metal. Misheard: Weeps between buildings. Actual: Weeds between buildings. Misheard: Shots by the mirrors frame. Actual: Shards by the mirrors frame. Misheard: Clouds green and old. Actual: Clouds green and low.

THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD Misheard: We pissed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when. Actual: We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when. Misheard: Although I was a man, he said I was his friend. Actual: Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend. Misheard: I searched for foreign land, for years and years I roamed. Misheard: I searched for foam island, for years and years I roamed. Misheard: I searched for form in land, for years and years I roamed. Actual: I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed. Misheard: I gazed a gazeless stare at all the millions here. Actual: I gazed a gazely stare at all the millions here.

THE MOTEL Misheard: Well we're living, in the safety zone, don't be holding bags for me. Actual: Well we're living, in the safety zone, don't be holding back from me.

THE NEXT DAY Misheard: All the day she thinks I'm in love yeah. Actual: All that day she thinks of his love yeah. Misheard: They're whooping through the streets and alleys there. Actual: They whip him through the streets and alleys there. Misheard: Listen to the hoardes that tells her. Actual: 'Listen to the whores' he tells her. Misheard: They chase him through the alleys pissing on the steps. Actual: They chase him through the alleys chase him down the steps. Misheard: Of him willing desperate men for the pleasure of that beat. Misheard: Of his women dressed as men for the pleasure of that beat. Actual: Of his women dressed as men for the pleasure of that priest. Misheard: They're falling through the mud and they chant for his death. Actual: They haul him through the mud and they chant for his death. Misheard: They scream my name around, dammit tell the world they know. Actual: They scream my name aloud down into the well below. Misheard: They can work with Satan while they dance like the saints. Actual: They can work with Satan while they dress like the saints.

THE PRETTIEST STAR Misheard: Coal fire, you've got everything but coal fire. Actual: Cold fire, you've got everything but cold fire. Misheard: Stained black in your memory, all the movies in the past. Actual: Staying back in your memory, are the movies in the past. Misheard: Hollywood is all it takes. Actual: How you move is all it takes.

THE STARS (ARE OUT TONIGHT) Misheard: Waiting for the first moon. Actual: Waiting for the first move. Misheard: Sailors and their child wives. Actual: Satyrs and their child wives. Misheard: Sexless and unaware. Misheard: Sexless and aroused. Misheard: Sexless and unaround. Actual: Sexless and unaroused. Misheard: They are the stars, that dine for you, but I hope they live forever. Actual: They are the stars, they're dying for you, but I hope they live forever. Misheard: They tramp you with their beautiful eyes. Actual: An' trap you with their beautiful eyes. Misheard: They're broke or chained or drunk or scared, but I hope they live forever. Actual: They're broke and shamed or drunk or scared, but I hope they live forever.

THE VOYEUR OF UTTER DESTRUCTION (AS BEAUTY) Misheard: The need, to have cereal. Actual: The need, to have seen it all.

THIS IS NOT AMERICA Misheard: This is not ham, Erica. Actual: This is not America. Misheard: For this could be the biggest guy. Actual: For this could be the biggest sky.

TIME Misheard: His script is you and me, Bowie. Actual: His script is you and me, boy. Misheard: The sniper in debris, regurgitating drain. Misheard: The sniper in the brain, regurgitating train. Misheard: The sniper in the drain, regurgitated rain. Actual: The sniper in the brain, regurgitating drain. Misheard: Incestuous and vain, and many harder last names. Actual: Incestuous and vain, and many other last names. Misheard: We should be hard by now. Actual: We should be on by now. Misheard: Breaking up is hard, but keeping ducks is hateful. Actual: Breaking up is hard, but keeping dark is hateful. Misheard: I had so many dreams, I had so many grapefruits. Actual: I had so many dreams, I had so many breakthroughs. Misheard: The daughter dreams was closed, your park was real and green less. Actual: The door to dreams was closed, your park was real and dreamless. Misheard: We should be home by now. Misheard: We should be old by now. Actual: We should be on by now.

'TIS A PITY SHE WAS A WHORE Misheard: Hold your man hands, I cried. Actual: Hold your mad hands, I cried.

TIME WILL CRAWL Misheard: I saw a black black screen, full of wide-eyed fish. Actual: I saw a black black stream, full of white-eyed fish.

TVC 15 Misheard: So hot and cramped, oh my TVC one five. Misheard: So hard to grab it, oh my TVC one five. Actual: So hologramic, oh my TVC one five. Misheard: I brought my baby home, she, she sat around for long. Actual: I brought my baby home, she, she sat around forlorn. Misheard: Maybe if I pray every, each night I sit there bleeding. Actual: Maybe if I pray every, each night I sit there pleading. Misheard: On my TV she looked fine, TV she looked fine. Actual: Oh my TVC 15, TVC 15.

UNDERGROUND Misheard: Fairytailer, get me out of here. Misheard: Gotta gotta get me outta here. Actual: Daddy, daddy get me out of here.

VALENTINE'S DAY Misheard: Valentine sold his soul. Actual: Valentine told me so. Misheard: Benny and Judy down. Misheard: Terry and Judy down. Actual: Teddy and Judy down. Misheard: It's in his tiny heart. Actual: It's in his icy heart.

VELVET GOLDMINE Misheard: I had to ravish your capsule, suck you dry. Actual: Rapture catcher, suck you dry. Misheard: Velvet goldmine, you stroked me like Lorraine. Misheard: Velvet goldmine, you soaking in the rain. Actual: Velvet goldmine, you stroke me like the rain. Misheard: I'll be your Kimba Kano right for you again and again. Actual: I'll be your King Volcano right for you again and again. Misheard: Ooh, from Jamaica. Misheard: Ooh, clutch your make-up. Actual: Oooh! Put your make out.

WATCH THAT MAN Misheard: No one took their eyes off the rain. Actual: No one took their eyes off Lorraine. Misheard: She shimmered and she smoked like a Chicago moon. Actual: She shimmered and she strolled like a Chicago moll. Misheard: The fellas looked better and better - it was so-so. Actual: Her feathers looked better and better - it was so-so. Misheard: When the Reverend Al the Bastard danced on his knees. Misheard: When the Reverend and the bastard on his knees. Actual: When the Reverend Alabaster danced on his knees. Misheard: Wash that man, wash that man. Actual: Watch that man, watch that man. Misheard: Well he walks like a jerk, but he could eat you with a fuckin' spoon. Misheard: Well he talks like a jerk, but he could eat you with a four-pound spoon. Actual: Well he talks like a jerk but he could eat you with a fork and spoon. Misheard: And everybody battled with the reason why. Actual: And every bottle battled with the reason why.

WE ARE HUNGRY MEN Misheard: My studies included suffragy. Actual: My studies included exophagy. Misheard: That they are not infertible. Actual: That they are not invertible. Misheard: The crops of few, the cattle gun. Actual: The crops of few, the cattle gone.

WE ARE THE DEAD Misheard: I love you and your funky bumps. Misheard: But I love you and your funky pumps. Misheard: But I love you in your funky pumps. Actual: But I love you in your fuck-me pumps.

WE PRICK YOU Misheard: Shoots, shoots, little white shoots. Actual: Shoes, shoes, little white shoes.

WILD IS THE WIND Misheard: You'll scream to me, all things to me.. Actual: You're Spring to me, all things to me. Misheard: Don't you know your life it's ill Misheard: Don't you know your life is hell? Actual: Don't you know, you're life itself?

WIN Misheard: Then you've never seen me and make it unwise. Misheard: Then you've never seen me and make it unwide. Misheard: Then you've never seen me having a kid and wife. Actual: Then you've never seen me hanging naked and wired. Misheard: Seems you're trying not Toulouse. Actual: Since you're trying not to lose. Misheard: Saints are not supposed to grin. Actual: Since I'm not supposed to grin.

WOOD JACKSON Misheard: Hearts upon his sleep and his blade. Actual: Hearts upon his sleeve and his blade. Misheard: Wood Jackson took the dealing every day. Actual: Wood Jackson took the beating every day. Misheard: The mob they bleedin' tremble and they're running after light. Actual: The mob they bleedin' tremble and they're running after life.

WORD ON A WING Misheard: In this age of grand movie. Misheard: In this age of grand moving. Misheard: In this age of grand move me. Misheard: In this age of grand movement. Misheard: In this age of grand illusion. Misheard: In the sage of grand movie. Misheard: In the stage of grand movie. Actual: In this age of grand delusion. Misheard: Sweet Neil, you're born once again for me. Misheard: Sweet babe, you're born once again for me. Actual: Sweet name, you're born once again for me. Misheard: Lord, I Neil, I offer you, my word on a wing. Actual: Lord, I kneel and offer you, my word on a wing. Misheard: Lord, Lord, my breath flies like a word on a wing. Misheard: Lord, Lord, my breath feels like a word on a wing. Actual: Lord, Lord, my prayer flies like a word on a wing. Misheard: I look twice and you're still flowing. Actual: I look twice and you're still glowing. Read the background to the Neil misheard lyric from the BW chatroom.

YASSASSIN Misheard: Ass kissing - I'm not a moody guy. Actual: Yassassin - I'm not a moody guy. Misheard: 'Cos I've got a lot of cheese appeal. Actual: 'Cos I've got a love and she's afeared.

YOU BELONG IN ROCK 'N' ROLL Misheard: I love the bad luck that you bring. Actual: I love the bad look that you bring.

YOU FEEL SO LONELY YOU COULD DIE Misheard: But you're meaner than a sound, without an end. Actual: But you will leave without a sound, without an end.

YOUNG AMERICANS Misheard: They pulled in just behind the bridge. Misheard: They pulled in just behind the ridge. Actual: They pulled in just behind the fridge. Misheard: Standing right through the picture window. Misheard: Standing right through the bedroom window. Actual: Scanning life through the picture window. Misheard: She finds a slinking vagabond. Actual: She finds the slinky vagabond. Misheard: He calls out as he passes: "Ford must hang". Misheard: He stood all for passion forgetting the sting. Misheard: He coughs as he passes her red Mustang. Misheard: She calls as he passes upon the stair. Actual: He coughs as he passes her Ford Mustang. Misheard: Hit on my bitch, she can take anything. Misheard: You can bet he can take anything. Actual: Heaven forbid, she'll take anything. Misheard: But the Priest and he stifles for nothing. Misheard: But the freak, misses stifle for nothing. Actual: But the freak, and his type all for nothing. Misheard: He sees a stab and cuts his hand. Actual: He misses a step and cuts his hand. Misheard: Showing nothing, he seems like a song. Actual: Showing nothing, he swoops like a song. Misheard: Do you remember that place in Dixie? Misheard: Do you remember your present in Nixie? Misheard: Do you remember your present in Dixie? Actual: Do you remember, your President Nixon? Misheard: Have you been the hung American? Actual: Have you have been an un-American? Misheard: Just you and your idol Silver Cecilbar. Misheard: Just you and your idol same old, sense old pal. Misheard: Just you and your sense of sin values. Actual: Just you and your idol singing falsetto 'bout. Misheard: Living letting everywhere, and not a misfit from the ghetto. Misheard: Never ever everywhere, not a mis-ref from the ghetto. Actual: Leather, leather everywhere, and not a myth left from the ghetto. Misheard: Well, well well would you carry a pizza, just in case, just in case of depression? Misheard: Well, well, well, won't you carry your faces, just in case, just in case of depression? Actual: Well, well, well would you carry a razor, just in case, just in case of depression? Misheard: Sit on your hands on the busses of life just, blushing at all the emerald stealers. Misheard: Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors, blushing at all the Afro-Sheilas. Misheard: Sit on your hands in the buses of fibres. Misheard: Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors, blushing at all the Afro sinners. Actual: Sit on your hands on a bus of survivors, blushing at all the Afro-Sheeners. Misheard: Ain't that close to love? Well, it ain't that far to go. Misheard: Ain't that close to love? Well ain't that close to love. Misheard: Ain't that foster love? Well ain't that foster love? Actual: Ain't that close to love? Well ain't that poster love. Misheard: Well, it ain't that far from your door. Actual: Well, it ain't that Barbie doll. Misheard: Your heart's been drunken, just like you. Actual: Her heart's been broken just like you have. Misheard: Mama's got cramps and what does your hen say? Misheard: Mama's got cramps and look at your hands Haig. Misheard: Mama's got cramps and look at your hands ache. Misheard: My parents got cramp and look at your handshake. Actual: Mama's got cramps and look at your hands shake. Misheard: I got a suite and you got the beat. Misheard: I got a suite, and you got the feet. Misheard: You gotta sweet and you gotta feeling. Actual: I got a suite and you got defeat. Misheard: Ain't there a man who can save the world? Actual: Ain't there a man who can say "No more"? Misheard: Is there a woman I can suck in the doorway? Actual: Ain't there a woman I can sock on the jaw? Misheard: Is there a child I can live without judging? Actual: Ain't there a child I can love without judging? Misheard: Is there a place where I right people baby? Actual: Ain't there a pen that will write before they die? Misheard: Ain't you proud that you've still got faces? Actual: Ain't you proud that you've struck our faces? Misheard: Radio One dance all night can make me... Actual: Ain't there one damn song that can make me...

YOU'VE BEEN AROUND Misheard: Where's the pain in a violent night? I'm depressed by her quim. Actual: Where's the pain in the violent night? I'm depressed by the grin.

ZIGGY STARDUST Misheard: Jamming good with Waring and Gillow and the Spiders from Mars. Misheard: Jamming good with the urban cadets and the Spiders from Mars. Actual: Jamming good with Weird and Gilly and the Spiders from Mars. Misheard: Became the special man, then we were Zig and Spam. Actual: Became the special man, then we were Ziggy's band. Misheard: Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed on hairdo. Actual: Ziggy really sang, screwed up eyes and screw down hairdo. Misheard: Like some cat from Japan, he could kill 'em by smiling. Actual: Like some cat from Japan, he could lick 'em by smiling. Misheard: He could leave them to hell. Actual: He could leave 'em to hang. Misheard: Became on so loaded man, well hung and snow white hair. Actual: Became on so loaded man, well hung and snow white tan. Misheard: While the girl tried to braid our bones. Misheard: While the flight tried to break our bawls. Misheard: While the fly tried to break our bowls. Misheard: While the fly tried to raid our bowls. Actual: While the fly tried to break our balls. Misheard: Just the bearded wife to guide us. Misheard: Just the bare light to guide us. Actual: Just the beer light to guide us. Misheard: Making love with his eagle. Misheard: Making love with his beagle. Misheard: Making love with mosquitos. Misheard: Making love to a seagull. Misheard: Making love with his speedo. Actual: Making love with his ego. Misheard: Like a leather messiah. Actual: Like a leper messiah. Misheard: Ziggy played the times, driving us that we were voodoo, the bitch wins his class, he was canast, with God given ass. Actual: Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were voodoo, the kids were just crass, he was the nazz, with God given ass. Misheard: ...with God given eyes. Actual: ...with God given ass. Misheard: ...he worst than that. Actual: ...he was the nazz.

Got any good David Bowie misheard lyrics? Don't be embarrassed! Feel free to send them in.
Please email to:

Created: May 2001 © P Kinder

Last Updated: 22/9/23